woohoo
i dunno where to begin
been lost in the fog since i before i realised
words of poison have come to bite me back
none of this i realised when i chased you into the corner
none of this i realised when i saw the look of fear and disgust on your face
how easy it is to reflect
to look on hindsight and see that it was there all along
the reasons and answers on why i was different
genetically physically mentally attitude wise
now that i've come full circle
and hurt the people who give a shit about me
i want the strength
damm not the strength to face up to it
but the strength to run away
running away is never the solution
so people say
but sometimes when you box yourself up
it dawns that you've already ran away
lets imagine this never happened
none of this super hero or villian thing
there's just you and me
memory
gosh i wish dere was a hospital like e one in e flick "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" so tat i cld erase e painful memories haha guess tats y deres eternal sunshine in the spotless mind eh
baby sidney is home! haha neva mentioned him in my blog b4, he's my neighbour's son who jus came bk from new york coz he's mum was workin dere, god he's adorable! haha babies makes me happy and r kinda like intoxicatin drugs, givin u tat period of free child-like fun!
i wanna go to new york.
before its too late
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE === GOO GOO DOOLS
I wander through fiction To look for the truth Buried beneath all the lies And I stood at a distance To feel who you are Hiding myself in your eyes
Hold on before it’s too late
Until we leave this behind
Don’t fall, just be who you are It’s all that we need in our livesAnd the risk that might break you
Is the one that would say:
A life you don’t live is still lost So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see Nothing is real ‘til it’s goneHold on before it’s too late
Until we leave this behind
Don’t fall, just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives
So live like you mean it And love ‘til you feel itIt’s all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real ‘til it’s gone
Hold on before it’s too late
Until we leave this behind
Don’t fall, just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives
Hold on before it’s too late
Until we leave this behind
Don’t fall, just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives
It’s all that we need in our lives
It’s all that I need in my life
strength
Lord give me the strength the accept that i cannot achieve what i want
Or give me the power to achieve it
give me patience and perseverance so as to attain my dreams
how could i
sometimes people lie because they are afraid of losing something very important to them
tat line rings in my head alot these daes but i dunno if i should blame myself
some how i noe e excuse of " i can't control how i feel" jus doesn't seem to quite cut it
i've lied about my feelings to people veri important to me because i didn't want to upset them, i lie to them about my plans because...ah f**k i'm makin excuses
truth is, i'm jus scared, scared tat if i take e jump i'll lose everyone and everything i have rite now, my heart yearns to make the jump but even so i have no conviction of reachin e other side, wat if the grass isn't greener?
Saving Face is a great movie, thanx to Charis for the intro, beautiful soundtrack, wish it was longer and more developed though, peeps can catch on youtube, it stars joan chen and michelle krusiec haha oh it came out in 2004 so its pretty old
the movie has inspired me to go see Flushing, Queens in New York for myself and i also wanna catch michelle krusiec play Made In Taiwan though i missed the last tour in New York, its got absolutely great reviews in the US. Hopefully be able to save money by the end of this year and catch the next state it goes to. Ha! Even better if it comes to Sg, hmm mayb i shld try to convince SRT to bring it to Sg haha
clean up
my blog has been a dump for ages, apologies to everyone who has swung by and had to have their eyes stung by the mess haha
well i'm bk now, hopefully i'll have to heart to keep updating, dun get me wrong, i'm not lazy or anythin, its jus tat i feel so many emotions and things keep being swung my way that i just can't keep up, alrite i can hear everyone sayin pitiful excuse yada yada yada
life can be so simple sometimes, but human emotions complicates things
i dun wanna let you down but what if i can't keep tis up anymore, i reali dun wanna hurt you, i care for u and wan u 2 b strong and keep going, but dere may come a point where you'll need to do it without me.
i am seriously comtemplating to disappear and find my fire again
i meet some many wonderful people in my life, they inspire me and but yet at the same time depress me because of my inability to be brave or as clear as they are on achievin what they want
mayb i shld jus follow in her footsteps, plan everythin to a T, den notify and pack up, zoom she's off haha but i tink by the time i can actually do tat i'll prolly be alot older den i'd like
