broken
b4 i start HAPPY BURFDAE MICHELLE LEE!! =Pwas awoken at bout 7+ tis mornin by e sound of my aunt on e phone...my aunt is neva on e phone tis early...unless...someone passed away...i lost my grandaunt at 2am tis mornin...she joined e Lord in her slp...i rmb walkin out of my room towards e telephone, my aunt wasn't dere anymore coz she went to e toilet, e yellow pages were open, to e casket section...everythin seemed so unreal to me...like a dream/nitemare...i sat down on e sofa...
i realised i cldn't stay in e house anymore, not with my grandma cryin n my aunt on e phone tellin all my relatives tat my grandaunt's gone...so i left e house earlier den i planned coz i was suppose to play badminton with my class peeps aniwae...i didn't tell em anythin...but i was dere 2nd earliest...junlong was alreadi dere waitin for us, slpin on e chair lolx...badminton was gd...it helped me put aside all e things buggin me b4 todae n wat had happened...
e last wake i attended was my granduncle...on my way to his wake, i heard e song "From This Moment On" by Shania Twain...den for years after tat i neva heard e song again...todae on my way home...i was tinkin bout when my mum wld bring us to my grandaunt's wake when i heard e song...weird n freaky man...its like everytime a family member leaves us i hear tis song...
i yearn to get drunk now or somethin...i need somethin to numb all e painful things tat haf been comin ard recently...i noe my frens are here for me...i noe if i need dem they'll be dere...i reali need u rite now...i reali wanna tok to u rite now...u can't solve all my problems but ur certainly e key to one of em...but its not gonna happen, it jus isn't...i wan to give up...i pray to Him every nite to ask Him to grant me strength, strength to walk past u n not feel a thing...strength to stop reading into everything u say...strength to stop feelin so emotionally attached to u...
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.
i planned to msg shuling tis mornin to ask her if she wanna go get mich lee's bdae pressie in e afternoon, but now i reali dun feel like it...m i being selfish? haix...
posted by alison @ 12:23 AM
5 Comments:
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