:::Dreams Of Clarity:::

2007-09-24T04:44:00.000-07:00

catherine ann porter once said,

"there seems to be a kind of order in the universe, in the movement of the stars and the turning of the earth, in the changing of the seasons. but human life is almost pure chaos, everyone takes his own stance, asserts his own rights and feelings, mistaking the motives of others...and his own."

take me there

2007-09-19T07:31:00.001-07:00

Rascal Flatts - Take Me There lyrics

There’s a place in your heart, nobody's been,
Take me there.
Things nobody knows,
Not even your friends,
Take me there.
Tell me bout your momma, your daddy, your hometown,
Show me around,
I want see it all, don't leave anything out.

I want to know, everything about you THEN.
And I want to go, down every road you've been.
Where your hopes and dreams, and wishes live,
Where you keep the rest of your life hid,
I want to know the girl behind that pretty stare,
Take me there.

Your first real kiss, your first true love,
You were scared.
Show me where,
You learned about life, spent your summer nights, without a care.
I want to roll down main street, the back roads,
Like you did when you were a kid,
What made you who you are,

Tell me what your story is.

I want to know, everything about you THEN.
And I want to go, down every road you've been.
Where your hopes and dreams, and wishes live,
Where you keep the rest of your life hid,
I want to know the girl behind that pretty stare
Take me there.

Yeah,
I want to know, everything about you,
Yeah, everything about you baby.
I want to go, down every road you've been.
Where your hopes and dreams and wishes live,
Where you keep the rest of your life hid,
I want to know the girl behind that pretty stare.
Take me, take me, take me there,
Oh.

Take me there, yeah
Take me, baby, take me
Take me there.

yup thats wat i wan...

2007-09-15T09:04:00.000-07:00

we seem to be playin an endless game of cat & mouse
but though i'm tired
i'm utterly addicted to the butterflies i get just being near you
jus a look or a few words, keep me hangin on
my frens tink i'm gng way overboard
but seriously if i cld, i wld haf stopped myself
patience is the key

i try but i can't seem to get myself to think of anything but you

again and again

2007-09-12T02:25:00.000-07:00

sheesh really strugglin with my studies in uni rite now, mayb this is payback for all the peeps who told me i shoulda gone to nus and do literature or something

going for soccer training is almost like my only solace rite now, its such a blast to play haha except when i commit a horrendous screw-up of course, den i jus wanna bawl like a baby

i dun wanna keep goin thru tis but i keep falling for you
i try so hard not to notice how different you treat me in comparison to others
i try to tink of a thousand excuses to show that i'm jus a normal person in ur eyes
but all the reality checks i force myself to swallow
jus can't take you off my mind
wat happens if you wan me to?
i'll dive in and drown, i'm so afraid i'll drown
but lookin down for the cliff, suddenly the bottom doesn't seem so far down

i've locked myself in a glass dome
my frens can see me, tok to me but they can't reali feel me
den in an instance rain starts pouring down on me
and i, strangely enough, finally feel the warmth

hall

2007-08-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

sure i like someone in hall

but it is most definitely not u!

*OUT*

alison

woohoo

2007-07-28T10:30:00.001-07:00

i dunno where to begin
been lost in the fog since i before i realised
words of poison have come to bite me back
none of this i realised when i chased you into the corner
none of this i realised when i saw the look of fear and disgust on your face

how easy it is to reflect
to look on hindsight and see that it was there all along
the reasons and answers on why i was different
genetically physically mentally attitude wise

now that i've come full circle
and hurt the people who give a shit about me
i want the strength
damm not the strength to face up to it
but the strength to run away

running away is never the solution
so people say
but sometimes when you box yourself up
it dawns that you've already ran away

lets imagine this never happened
none of this super hero or villian thing
there's just you and me

memory

2007-07-10T08:54:00.000-07:00

gosh i wish dere was a hospital like e one in e flick "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" so tat i cld erase e painful memories haha guess tats y deres eternal sunshine in the spotless mind eh

baby sidney is home! haha neva mentioned him in my blog b4, he's my neighbour's son who jus came bk from new york coz he's mum was workin dere, god he's adorable! haha babies makes me happy and r kinda like intoxicatin drugs, givin u tat period of free child-like fun!

i wanna go to new york.

before its too late

2007-07-09T10:12:00.000-07:00

BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE === GOO GOO DOOLS

I wander through fiction
To look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies
And I stood at a distance
To feel who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes

Hold on before it’s too late
Until we leave this behind
Don’t fall, just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

And the risk that might break you
Is the one that would say:
A life you don’t live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real ‘til it’s gone

Hold on before it’s too late
Until we leave this behind
Don’t fall, just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

So live like you mean it
And love ‘til you feel it
It’s all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real ‘til it’s gone

Hold on before it’s too late
Until we leave this behind
Don’t fall, just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

Hold on before it’s too late
Until we leave this behind
Don’t fall, just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

It’s all that we need in our lives

It’s all that I need in my life

strength

2007-07-07T11:29:00.000-07:00

Lord give me the strength the accept that i cannot achieve what i want
Or give me the power to achieve it
give me patience and perseverance so as to attain my dreams

how could i

2007-07-06T06:55:00.000-07:00

sometimes people lie because they are afraid of losing something very important to them

tat line rings in my head alot these daes but i dunno if i should blame myself
some how i noe e excuse of " i can't control how i feel" jus doesn't seem to quite cut it

i've lied about my feelings to people veri important to me because i didn't want to upset them, i lie to them about my plans because...ah f**k i'm makin excuses

truth is, i'm jus scared, scared tat if i take e jump i'll lose everyone and everything i have rite now, my heart yearns to make the jump but even so i have no conviction of reachin e other side, wat if the grass isn't greener?

Saving Face is a great movie, thanx to Charis for the intro, beautiful soundtrack, wish it was longer and more developed though, peeps can catch on youtube, it stars joan chen and michelle krusiec haha oh it came out in 2004 so its pretty old

the movie has inspired me to go see Flushing, Queens in New York for myself and i also wanna catch michelle krusiec play Made In Taiwan though i missed the last tour in New York, its got absolutely great reviews in the US. Hopefully be able to save money by the end of this year and catch the next state it goes to. Ha! Even better if it comes to Sg, hmm mayb i shld try to convince SRT to bring it to Sg haha

clean up

2007-07-05T22:53:00.000-07:00

my blog has been a dump for ages, apologies to everyone who has swung by and had to have their eyes stung by the mess haha

well i'm bk now, hopefully i'll have to heart to keep updating, dun get me wrong, i'm not lazy or anythin, its jus tat i feel so many emotions and things keep being swung my way that i just can't keep up, alrite i can hear everyone sayin pitiful excuse yada yada yada

life can be so simple sometimes, but human emotions complicates things

i dun wanna let you down but what if i can't keep tis up anymore, i reali dun wanna hurt you, i care for u and wan u 2 b strong and keep going, but dere may come a point where you'll need to do it without me.

i am seriously comtemplating to disappear and find my fire again

i meet some many wonderful people in my life, they inspire me and but yet at the same time depress me because of my inability to be brave or as clear as they are on achievin what they want

mayb i shld jus follow in her footsteps, plan everythin to a T, den notify and pack up, zoom she's off haha but i tink by the time i can actually do tat i'll prolly be alot older den i'd like

despo

2007-02-07T07:39:00.000-08:00

i tot i was loyal but i guess when it comes to feelings everythin is up in the air, i wan to be dere for u as much as i can, but its tiring...i hate it when i feel tis way becoz i keep tinking to myself, how cld i be so damm selfish when u need me so much?! i alwaes seem to use e excuse tat i'm a human being and i'm affected by my surroundings but i reali wanna be bigger than all tat bullshit, trust me i'm trying...

work has been ok, but super tiring on the eyes, tink i'm gng to lose my perfect eyesight which i've had for 18 years pretty soon ( hehe gd record u noe considering i'm like the onli one left in my family who doesn't haf 4 eyes ) my job's not jus basic data entry, its kinda like processing, so if i make a mistake, pple down the line will be affected, guess tats e part i hate the most, dun wan to cause confusion to pple...

ok the nxt paragraph is jus rambling, bear with me
didn't notice u when i first met u, mayb coz i cldn't be bothered but boy did u show me, now ur like a distraction, once in a while i'll meet pple like u, pple who i dun reali noe but in tat instant when u look into their eyes n everythin clicks

i wonder.

*OUT*
aLiSoN

OH GOSH DERE'S ANOTHER SIMILARITY...

realization

2007-01-27T18:12:00.000-08:00

you're on my mind had another sleepless nite
and all I think about is that I want you here and now
all I wanna say is that I want you in my life

when you're walking right by I get this feeling inside

baby I want you but I don't know what to say

so baby come on come on and tell me how you feel

they don't understand the feelings inside
all I want from you is that you give me a sign
tell me how you feel, tell me how you feel
I can see it in ur eyes when you're walking by

damm i'm in trouble

heroes

2006-12-25T04:29:00.000-08:00

Moon so bright, night so fine,
Keep your heart here with mine
Life's a dream we are dreaming
Race the moon, catch the wind,
Ride the night to the end,
Seize the day, stand up for the light

Save the love, come what may,
Love is worth everything we pay

i miss all those who haf left though to many it may seem tat my heart has hardened

taggie

2006-12-08T04:39:00.000-08:00

decided to get rid of my tagboard coz it was irritatin me, no dun get me wrong it wasn't e pple taggin but jus tat i tot e tagboard wasn't necessary anymore coz there's hardly anybody who reads my blog anymore due to my lack of updates =P feel like shuttin my blog down but tat wld mean tat i haf to re-locate all of my fren's links elsewhere and i like them here jus fine...that wld mean...that i haf to make a more concious effort to blog lolx

oh well e a's r over (yes i am slow) n i'm considering some jobs, y can't i jus haf fun for now?? i noe its unpractical coz its not like i haf millions in my bank account and i need to start plannin for my future blah blah blah blah blah...ok i'm trying...

aniwaes happy belated bday to kenz, wonder if he still reads my bloggie, my condolences to banglin

*OUT*
aLiSoN

boston

2006-08-11T22:17:00.000-07:00

Boston --- Augustana

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care,
You don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

Essential and appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...

You don't know me, you don't even care,
You don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice...
Boston... where no one knows my name...

absolutely adore this song...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

less

2006-08-11T06:12:00.000-07:00

i felt it less todae...u asked me to trust you and believe me i'm trying...i noe its tiring for you too becoz u haf to cope with the daily stresses and still deal with me, but hey i'm doin the same for you...i scared...scared that you would jus walk away...sometimes i jus wanna scream the truth out to the world so i'd noe for sure whether or not u were ashamed of me...but suddenly i realised you've alreadi made it pretty clear wat you'd do if that were to happen...i'm emotionally high strung and needy in tat aspect, such an irony tat you're a complete opposite, or rather you wanna lead people to believe that you're a complete opposite...

i can hear the fireworks in nite, the fireworks that i wanted to watch with you, but i was alwaes afraid to bring it up, afraid that you would blame me again, and i all i can do is accept it, tat from the beginning it was my fault...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

2006-06-29T04:19:00.000-07:00

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.

Your near future is likely to be filled with great successes and accomplishments. You just need to figure out how to get there.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

identical to jol =P

*OUT*
aLiSoN

results

2006-06-29T03:49:00.000-07:00

disappointed bout my results esp 4 e 2 subjects i was expecting to do better for...tink i might do ok for chem but we'll jus haf to wait and see dun we...ah well kinda jaded dun reali care anymore, which is kinda dangerous @ tis pt, constantly being reminded tat i haf bout 2mths+ to prelims, e fact alwaes chills my heart but it seems tat i need to recover b4 i can get gng again...

life is so routine, no spontainity bout it (wrong spellin? arh wtf) sch home sch home sch home sch home den wkends go do somethin fun to 4get things and den guess wat, its routine again...seriously i tink i'm a pretty anti-system person, i need suprises, i need to enjoy myself...i dun mind sch dun get me wrong, i love meetin new pple n stuff, i enjoy learnin bout new things, they fascinate me, but its so tiring to face e pressure, not onli bout exams academic but also image superficiality [i suck @ spellin by e way] can't i jus do wat i wanna do and be happy...yeah i noe without pressure pple will neva excel yadda yadda yadda shit...sorree man i'm jus so tired...i yearn for a holiday, an actual holiday, not one where in e back of ur mind u haf to keep tinkin bout e exams tat r loomin...

am i veri screwed up?
i failed as a daughter becoz my parents dun noe who i reali am and i dun intend to let dem noe anytime soon
i failed as a sister becoz i find myself growin more and more detached from her and leavin her in whateva shit she's gotten herself into
i failed as a member of e house i live in becoz my temper keeps gettin e better of me
i failed as a friend becoz i seem to keep puttin myself first
i failed as a gurlfren becoz i can't take u away from ur suffering
i failed as a person becoz of fear

ahh dun worry bout me...rise from e ashes i must

*OUT*
aLiSoN

tink

2006-05-30T23:48:00.000-07:00

y r human beings so ungrateful? hmm mayb not e qn shld be y do human beings let their feelings and emotions control them...4 everythin gd or bad tat i haf done i no i will get wats comin, so is tis it? is tis my punishment? wat a way man, to punish me usin e onli hope i haf left for tis life...

i've stood by u thru everythin n u dun reali even think of tat, i'm sittin here in tears typin this becoz i noe slowly i'm losin u, u haf so many things in ur life so i try to take e bkseat, sometimes u make me feel so worthless, even though everythin i do i keep u in mind i wonder if u do tat for me...the person is jus a novelty u say, jus someone who as long as u dun see things will be fine...do u even realise how wrong tat sentence sounds? u noe how much my heart broke when u told me e truth @ e bustop e first time we toked bout it, u prolly will neva noe how i feel or mayb u tink i'm crazy tats fine

oh god e person is a fren n becoz of u i dun noe how to face the person anymore, invite the person along if u wan to, i noe u wan to...i can't help but haf evil tots no i'm not going to kill anyone but u noe wat i'm tokin bout...at tis crucial period of my life i dun reali noe how to get up from tis blow u haf jus dealt me i dun reali noe how to react anymore dun ask me y i reali dun noe...even rite now i'm sitting here wonderin if ur tinkin of me or r u too preoccupied doin somethin else noeing full well i'm breakin apart...hmm but den again i dun tink u can help me coz i dun wanna deny u ur emotions and e way u feel...u said actions speak louder than words...u said we'll see...

pls...dun let anyone take u away from me...u keep tellin me u dun wanna leave n u neva had e intention to, den i'm losin u without u even leavin me...

LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH GIVE ME TRUST AND FAITH for my partner has requested tat of me yet i somehow can't muster it up...i jus dun wanna feel this way anymore

*OUT*
aLiSoN

mich lee

2006-05-19T05:58:00.000-07:00

haha @ e request of mich lee i'm gng to do tis thingy tat she tagged me to do, hmm dun usually do such things but since she wans me too, of course i will =)

erm ok basically suppose to say 8 things bout my perfect lover
1) able to make me laugh
2) neva get bored lookin @ e person
3) cares for me
4) alwaes wans to be with me and miss me
5) able to crap as well as haf intellectual conversations with
6) is willing to do things they may not like jus coz i wan to
7) suprises me (in a gd way of course!)
8) loves me and doesn't mind spendin e rest of their lives with me

*OUT*
aLiSoN

wonder

2006-05-10T01:13:00.000-07:00

man how do some pple do it? study cca play frens relationship family how do they actually manage to do everythin so well...lets not even tok bout e pple from rjc and such lar k its quite obvious they haf to be gd in studies or else they wouldn't even get promoted, but at the same time their cca is practically overachieving and they are like damm popular among everyone n maintain their relationships reali well...yet its seriously seems to be beyond some of us, includin me of course...i'm jus tinkin real hard to figure out y...isit our mentality or somethin? isit becoz we dun haf enough will power? if we were all born with e same kinda brain n we all haf 2 arms 2 legs and all our senses den by rite we shld be able to do wat they did wat...rite?

i'm @ home on a WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON tat is like so weird lar can i felt so weird leavin sch so earli aiyo...oh n i'm damm broke but i need new clothes and $ for entertainment arghh should not haf spent so much on bdae pressies and marche n chomp chomp damm...

my class finished 1st in our race for e db heats, but heard from nana that boat 4 got prob in tat it was lighter so almost 3/4 of e races boat4 won...but...but...WE WERE IN BOAT 2!! yay i'm happy tat we won on our own ability and not becoz of some ligher boat...hope tis pushes my class to train hard, its our last yr afterall and i wanna go out with a bang, was bitterly disappointed when we didn't qualify for e 12x100m coz we were third in j1 dang if onli we didn't haf so many injured peeps tat dae...oh n badminton got in to inter-cca db! yay!! wonder if e guys will row...coz tink deres like 14 or 15 j2 gurls which means we still need bout 9 or 10 guys haha

*OUT*
aLiSoN

since march

2006-05-09T03:15:00.000-07:00

whee haven't updated since march...aniwaes was on e bus jus now n these 2 PRC students from a jc nearby my place came on on board n they were sorta discussing life in singapore, haha quite daring i must say seeing how they were prolly on a bus filled with singaporeans...i rmb one comment they made, they said that they haf spent most of their money here on transport! haha so weird coz like all this while i've been like using my parent's $ for my ez link n stuff so like dun reali feel e pinch, den they said that as compared to china, singaporeans hardly walk to anywhere, like on e streets u wun see much pple walkin unless ur outside a major shoppin center n like so qiao e moment they said tat i looked out my window and there reali wasn't a single person walkin on e street! jus alotta cars haha food for tot man...

well 2dae is e last dae of my badminton tournament, also e last official badminton gathering under tpjc badminton team...i'm rather saddened coz e gurls haf been a part of my life since last yr and i'm so used to seeing them every monday,wednesday,friday and now even saturday...kinda wat liyi said, that nxt time on mondae @ bout 430pm, we'll prolly be stonning in front of our bks tinkin tat @ ard tis time we shld be in e hall trainin, remenising basically...lets hope tat we'll be able to maintain e close bonds we haf...thanx for everythin gurls, one of e best xpriences of my life...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

death

2006-03-18T17:00:00.000-08:00

u wan me to help u with it...how can i? how can i even help u destroy u...but e guilt i feel its destroyin me inside isit reali all my fault m i reali e jinx tat cozed u 2 b this way isit too much to ask for u to keep gng till e end, its in sight, this path is almost over, read ur horoscope, i'm desparate now i'm desparate for u to hold on, it says that u shld take heard because paths to higher education are lookin brighter n more possible...i kid u not, ask me to read it to u and i will...but i'm torn seeing u in so much pain beggin me not to let u continue wat am i suppose to do i'm in tears typin tis becoz tats how confused i am, do i let u continue in pain becoz i believe in u, or do i encourage u to end ur sufferin and destroy all our dreams...isit reali too late for u, i dun dare to ask anythin more of u e guilt is kiilin me i'm sorree tat i neva tot for u, but its not too late rite...i reali dunno...i reali dunno

*OUT*
aLiSoN

nothin is workin

2006-03-13T06:38:00.000-08:00

i keep fightin, keep fightin tis battle, undoubtedly e most impt battle of my life, no not e a'levels, but e fight to keep someone i love and care for gng, e pain of losin someone tis impt is all too recent and fresh in my mind, and now b4 pple can get over it, i haf someone to deal with of my own...i noe u've been tired and been hangin on, i tink i'm e jinx coz eva since i met u, ur life has been downhill, rmb u sayin somethin bout if a person finds true love, does it mean tat everythin else in his or her life must be sacrificed in exchanged, i was honoured when u said tat but now i understand e true meanin...ur so close to e finishin line now, everybody is dere waitin for u, ur gd frens n me are runnin alongside u, we're all gng to finish we're not gng to let 17+ yrs of hard hard work go down e drain...pls i beg of u, do not choose e easy way out, u keep sayin its a sign n everytime u do my heart shakes in fear...lord guide me, wat shld i do?

*OUT*
aLiSoN

tears

2006-03-09T00:29:00.000-08:00

weird how some pple r so interested in other pple dyin hmm mayb i'm jus a skeptic n i noe i'm not a saint but man i get so irritated when pple tok bout e issue like its paparrazzi news or some hot topic of e day or assume stuff like they noe the pple so well, many tink its jus harmless gossip rite? well it spreads n gossip which is untrue starts to get believed by pple and in the end e pple who get left behind r hurt, i jus wish pple wld leave others along or they'll neva be able to move on, i hate e media rite now n to tink i intend to work in it one dae, pls pple let dem move on n go, they need to

thankfully e person involved is strong, no doubt it must hurt like hell inside but she's amazing e things she's said and is doin he wld be proud of her no doubt, after readin wat she said i'm tearin u can reali feel e love btw dem god bless dem both i'll neva look at another case like tis e same way again

*OUT*
aLiSoN

...

2006-03-04T07:13:00.000-08:00

You Are The Star

You represent the ultimate in truth and purity.

Insightful and illuminating, you provide guidance for others.

You also demonstrate unselfish, unconditional love.

You posses many spiritual gifts, including the ability to heal.

Your fortune:

Your future is looking brighter by the day.

The near future will be a time of both hope and healing.

Luck is about to come your way, perhaps the best luck you have ever seen.

Life is about to get a lot easier and much better!

What Tarot Card Are You?

i certainly hope e fortune prediction is true...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

somethin to rely on

2006-03-04T06:42:00.000-08:00

Somewhere Only We Know---KEANE

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

*OUT*
aLiSoN

phew

2006-02-21T00:38:00.000-08:00

yes yes i noe its been awhile since i've blogged, seem to be losing interest in bloggin, either tat or life is jus too tiring tat e tot of havin to type it out jus scares me...aniwaes i tink if i had blogged, my posts wld haf bored the hell of u guys coz i wld haf onli been bloggin bout love, everyone's hafin love problems all ard me its scarey haha...

well i've pretty much rambled on as i've alwaes...being myself, no doubt pissing some pple off along e way but i dun reali care =P bio spa yesterday was a total screwup, i've neva screwed up so badly in a bio spa b4, trust me its soooooo bad i haf no words to describe e degree of screwed-upness i'm in...see its sooo bad tat i invented my own word to describe it hehe...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

i haf nothing

2006-01-07T18:35:00.000-08:00

share my life, take me for what I am
cause I'll never change all my colours for you
take my love, I'll never ask for too much
just all that you are and everything that you do
don't make me close one more door
i don't wanna hurt anymore
stay in my arms if you dare
or must I imagine you there
don't walk away from me...

now i noe y they say 1st luv neva persists...esp for our case where its alot more complicated den e average one...i wanna b supportive, wanna encourage u to persue ur dreams, believe in everythin u do...mayb u cld jus sacrifice abit for me...or mayb to u, i dun deserve tat sacrifice...i noe ur tryin ur best to balance everythin and its not gng well, which is y i ask if u wan 2 b set free...i'm no saint, i'm jus an ordinary gurl

If I should stay
I would only be in your way
We both know I'm not what you, you need

*OUT*
aLiSoN

1st dae

2006-01-03T01:14:00.000-08:00

well first dae of my j2 life is over and done with...well it was interestin haha sittin on e bus with all these sec sch kids headin to tpjc, bringin bk all e gd memories of 1st 3mths, i tink nobody should miss 1st 3mths if they had an opportunity to go, its reali fun, get to meet new frens and reali see if jc is e thing 4 u => was suppose to meet choo @ 7.15am to help her spray her green highlights black, but e usual blk 201 is jammed up, prolly everybody's 1st dae anxieties thus not wantin to b late etc...aniwaes haha it was quite farni coz even after i sprayed for her, e whole world still was like ay ur hair is green lolx...gd to see my gang again and gd to noe tat everyone is still as crazy and nutso, tink my gang is one of e reasons y jc life is bearable coz its onli e first dae and alreadi we're being reminded to topical tests up and comin, and e teachers can't wait to grab us for make-ups and stuff, yeah its for our own gd n stuff...

helped out for abit with e badminton board and plannin for cca option dae, dun like some of e changes gng to be implemented by e new tcher in charge...i can onli hope e team sticks together faces it as one...jus for ur info, its tough to be in a sport cca in tpjc, i wun tell u y, come ask me if u wanna noe, jus a piece of advice, if ur veri passionate bout ur sport and intend to continue pursuing it into jc, do not come to tpjc, onli come if ur into performin arts...sheesh...

HELP I'M BROKE!! =P

*OUT*
aLiSoN

hiatus

2005-12-31T19:42:00.000-08:00

hey hey pple i'm bk frm my lil blog hiatus, dunno y for a certain period of time jus didn't feel like bloggin @ all (haha a certain someone will say its coz she can't read my blog so i dun blog @ all, say it with me now "bullshit!") aniwaes HAPPY NEW YEAR!! well 2005 wasn't as bad as expected, kinda sad to leave it behind now coz 2006 is a scarey prospect, e real fight begins, e big A's await me and relationships stand on e edge of a knife

yest went to shujing's party, kinda of her farewell party coz she's leavin for aussie land to study soon, its sad, one by one all my frens gng abroad, jol's nxt after she's done with her A's, gonna grab her leg and refuse 2 let go so she can't board e plane =P nah its their future and i can't be selfish though of course I'M GONNA MISS THEM LIKE SHIT! haha i was late for e party yest coz i was playin badminton, so e whole gang had to wait for me b4 they could start eatin dinner ( sorry again guys) aniwaes, e food was good, tink it was frm tis shop nearby my place...lolx but e main attraction had to be e dark chocolate fonduue, me jol and jo were like practicallly parked next to e fondue and we cldn't stop eatin it esp jo who despite hafin sore throat still doused e chocolate down...den we all went into e livin rm and had our alcohol fix, yup underage drinkin so sue us, den went into e kitchen for white wine, haha was funny, they started hafin white wine shot drinkin competition and its like everytime u finish a cup u haf to turn it over to show ur opponent ur done, but everytime they did tat, drips of white wine wld jus come out! lolx but not their fault tink its prolly e cup...den we went upstairs and tokked bout e gd'ol times...i felt so happy, i reali reali reali miss gatherin with all these frens...it felt so comfortable, no words to describe...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

how to love

2005-12-19T20:11:00.000-08:00

i dun wan someone to love me outta pity
i dun wan someone to love me outta obligation
e qn buggin me is, how do u noe u love someone? e old sayin is tat u'll jus noe, yeah rite like tat helps me alot...if u've been with someone a long time, pple immediately assume its coz u luv dem...it might not be so, u cld jus happen to enjoy their company...lolx but den again i dun tink anyone who doesn't luv me cld possibly enjoy my company...i wish i cld tell u tat i dun wanna b with u coz u dun love me e way i love u, i can't becoz i'm not even sure bout e way i luv u...so if u're in it, how cld i ask u to turn away?

*OUT*
aLiSoN

tag

2005-12-14T20:38:00.000-08:00

hahaha dolly shah tagged me so now i haf to play e game...it goes like tis

Rules of the game:
1. Post 5 weird/random stuff abt yourself
2. At the end, list the names of 5 ppl who you want next to this and leave a comment "YOU ARE TAGGED" in their blogs and tell them to read your blog for rules! So here's 5 really, really weird/random stuffs:

u guys ready? lolx

1) in sec sch i had 2 of my essays published in e sch yearbk (considered an achievement coz usually they onli publish one of each student's work for fairness) and was considered like great potential for a career in writin and stuff by my tchers, e irony is: eva since i entered jc, i've been failin or jus passin gp essays =P muahahahhaah

2) i'm a veri orderly person, i eat my food in a certain order, i comb my hair in a certain way, read e newspapers in a certain order (not e way it came in eg i'll not read e straits times b4 readin home) aiyo i tink u get e drift

3) i'm a badminton player and i'm not e kind tat hates runnin even though i wld choose to play sports rather den run, but nonetheless still manage to get gold timin for tis yr's napfa, aniwae in pri sch i was like damm overweight, like cannot even run 200m without gng flat, everybody i've shown my pri sch foto to is like in shock tat i look so different, coz basically in upper pri i suddenly didn't wanna b fat anymore so i ran round my neighbourhood every afternoon, yeah i started dietin when i was in pri sch, when most kids tat age durin my time lar cldn't give 2 hoots bout their image

4) i can't cook, but its not coz i dun wanna learn, nobody wans to teach me!! my grandmother is afraid tat if she tries to teach me i'll blow up e kitchen, i alwaes haf tis dreaded nitemare tat when i move out i'll end up eatin maggi noodles with instant or canned food e rest of my life den suffer lots of health problems when i grow old becoz of tat

5) i luv dogs, so when i was young and my mum brought us shoppin, i wld refuse to walk with her, instead i went straight to e bkshop and sat myself down in e animals section and jus read all e bks on dogs and i can proudly say at a certain period of time i read all e dog bks tat mph had in stock, yes i even read wat to name ur dog accordin to his or her character lolx!

oh no can't believe i jus did all tat...e world is gonna tink i'm weird...besides e pple who alreadi do lar @ least hahahhahahhah

five people whom I want to do this:
jolene, kenneth, leeling, qaiyimah, mich lee

*OUT*
aLiSoN

brainwave

2005-12-10T09:01:00.000-08:00

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy.
You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts.
People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused.
But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Your Birth Month is September

Tolerant and inspirational, you are wise beyond your years.
You are universally sympathetic and a great humanitarian.
Your soul reflects: Devotion, light, and love
Your gemstone: Sapphire
Your flower: Morning Glory
Your colors: Brown and deep blue

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

*OUT*
aLiSoN

woo

2005-12-09T06:36:00.000-08:00

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

woohoo

*OUT*
aLiSoN

tan

2005-12-05T04:59:00.000-08:00

I'm like a faith without a clause to believe in

went swimming 2dae with choo, e onli reason y i went is coz i wanted to get tan, but e moment i woke up tis mornin, looked out e window, and it was like e most cloudy dae i'v eva seen, like even though i was in my rm, under e covers, i cld feel e cool breeze radiating from my window arghhh so i didn't get much of a tan, i must go bk, i wanna go bk!! aniwae some pple late lor, make me wait for 1hr+ lar! and but i guess it wasn't so bad, coz tat 1hr gave me time to go to church, which i haven't been in ages...it was serene, to jus sit dere in total silence and be in e presence of e lord...haha i was e onli one in church coz no service, den jus a couple of guys cleanin e air con vents, i prayed for a bit, most of e time i was jus sittin down dere and enjoyin e peace and quiet, i rmb b4 i went in, i was pissed coz choo overslpt, but e moment i got into church, all e anger jus evaporated...haha...

I am throwing myself at things i don't understand
Discover enlightenment holding your hand

aniwaes we went to katong swimming complex, it was i first learnt swimming as a little gurl, man all e lifeguards r e same lor, they jus looked slightly older...swimming again after soooo long was refreshing, and alot of memories of my swimming lessons @ e complex flooded bk...i reali enjoyed myself haha...oh haix but e canteen no longer got my fav ham sandwich lolx...reali like tat swimming complex even though choo says its not an olympic sized pool (some pple onli wanna swim in olympic sized pool leh!), but its nice and quiet...until after we finished bathing, then tis whole buncha ang moh kids from an angmoh sch i tink, came to take swimming examinations haha they were soooo cute!! after tat we sat on e steps of e complex waitin for e rain to stop, saw tis old man wearin nothin but a towel, sitting down dere smoking uggghhhh totally disgusting man!

You know they can have their universe

after tat went to chinatown to eat my fav fish soup, haha choo was sooo scared she'd meet her collegues lar coz she told e boss tat she can't come in 2dae =P found out tat tat area got alotta nice stuff...hmm nxt on my palate i wanna find e wild boar meat my dad used to buy frm ard tat area, dunno frm which stall leh...yeah i'm babaric i eat wild boar, so sue me!

oh man can't wait to go swimming again and tan!!!

Whether i'm up or down
There's no crowd to please

*OUT*
aLiSoN

life

2005-12-02T07:54:00.000-08:00

life u ask? well life sux...cliched i noe...but life sux man...
i tot after meetin u, things wld get better, it alwaes does, i guess it did, but it neva lasts...e pain alwaes comes bk...hell i dun even noe if its pain...i'm jus one confused little gurl stuck in tis complicated world, i jus wan peace...world peace *chuckles* sometimes i tink i'm quite incredible haha ego u say, but i dunno how i take it all, i dunno how i can jus keep it inside, so no one noes, when i see my frens they dun haf a clue, i make look so fine and dandy yeah i'm gd...no i'm not drunk...dreams i haf plenty...but where my heart reali lies is in peace, ay i sound like a hobbit...i wanna get a home with e one i luv and jus live dere, come wat may...but of course in sunny singapura it ain't neva tat easy...life aint neva gonna b tat easy...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

dolly

2005-11-27T06:52:00.000-08:00

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

results frm tis get to noe urself quiz tat i koped from dolly shah's blog since she asked me update lolx

*OUT*
aLiSoN

sba

2005-11-27T06:36:00.000-08:00

2dae went for my first trainin session of my job of being a lines judge for the cheers youth international tournament to be held @ sbh frm e 12-17th...quite pressure coz as e name suggests, it is an international tournament featurin players from as far as iran, super cool! wonder if they'll b cute players lolx...oh wait must focus my job is to concentrate on e two lines and not on e players =P tis was somethin e trainer was emphasising on, but jus can't seem to do it, most of e time i'm watchin to pick up new skils haha and we learnt a whole lot of new ways to do line judging, slightly different frm e ones i haf done...hmmm...oh and e later stages will be televised so if i call a shot wrong i'll be embarrassed on national television! oh yeah and i heard tis gurl sayin tat being line judge is boring and super easy, i'll be thankful if i dun get called kayu by e audience lolx...but i need e $$ so i'm gonna haf 2 take e risk and do my best, or at e most i'll jus put a paper bag nxt to me so if i make e wrong call i can jus slide e paper bag over my head and try and pretend tat i dun exist...oh did i mention e uniform is soooo obiang, black pants black shoes dark coloured socks and e tournament tee...i understand tat we haf to be standardised, but y e obsession with black...like somebody died or somethin...arghhh...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

1st

2005-11-17T04:25:00.000-08:00

2dae while crossing e road, watchin e cars jus pass by, i suddenly felt tis strong urge to step in front of one of dem...i shan't describe e consequences if i had done so...tinkin bk on it wat freaked me out was e fact tat i cld still walk home not feel freaked out tat e tot of causing my own death actually crossed my mind...

i'm tired...dunno y but i feel tired, spirtually and emotionally tired...i feel more emotions den e normal person n i've yet to figure out if tis is a blessing or a curse...sometimes i wonder wat it feels like not to feel, to ignore e whole world, or rather e whole world can just continue on and i wouldn't feel anythin, 2 not be concerned, 2 not care...being emotionally weak is tiring me out, becoz sometimes e issues i bother myself with, i dun even noe if they reali exist, yet at e same time i rarely can put it down...i wonder all e time how it'd be like...to not feel pain, to not feel anguish, anger, remorse, disappointment...but it seems that these are wat i've been feelin, how come happiness doesn't last? if life is suppose to be so gd, how come happiness jus doesn't seem to last? how come happy times can't be used to mask and block out sadness? i'm not sure if i want it to come to an end, but i'm tired of guessing, tired of anticipatin and onli to be let down...how much longer can i last?

hmmm dun worry jus a rant...i won't kill myself jus coz i'm tired...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

so long

2005-11-16T22:53:00.000-08:00

badminton trainin 2dae after super long time!! but...turn-out was pathetic all my badminton pals didn't turn up xcept shah, mich lee got rock climbing thing, serene woke up late, jingfang workin, candice & shuling flew off to kao lak for ocip =< haix heard they were all dere for tues trainin, but i couldn't make it for tues trainin mah, got MATHS ARGHHHH...aniwaes 2dae rainin so gotta lift from my auntie to sports hall and reached dere like stupendously earli, half an hour earlier lor, aiyo so i sat down dere with nothin to do when i super wished i cld haf been home slpin...eh rainy dae veri nice to slp one k...hmm didn't deprove tat much lar, but i realise i quite lost my ability to smash properly *wails* haix...oh oh 2dae me, shah and meiyi were playin, den tis old uncle asked if he cld join us for a game coz we short of 1 mah, so we played doubles, not bad, me and e old uncle beat shah and meiyi though mostly coz e old uncle has super gd reflexes for an old uncle lolx...he taught me how to defend and watch out for ur partner...hmm u learn somethin new everydae...my bk injury is bk again, its gotten better since e last time i played, but 2dae strain again haix y must e game i luv playin hurt me so...den coach help me massage, he press damm pain lar! den now i haf tis like bump/blue black bruise like thingy on my bk and when i sit straight it hurts...dunno man, hope it heals asap...gng off to e lib, rediscovered my appetite for readin again, somethin i lost in e vigorous life of sec sch =P

*OUT*
aLiSoN

becoz u live

2005-11-13T06:44:00.000-08:00

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky

It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again
Cuz of you, made it though every storm
What is life, whats the use if your killed inside
I'm so glad I found an angel
Someone
Who was there when all my hopes fell
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live, I live

Because you live there's a reason why
I carry on when I lose the fight
I want to give what you've given me always

haha parts of tis song tat i like...e lyrics r kinda applicable rite now...hmm i'm hopin we survive tis...these are difficult times...

aiyo e whole dae i've been smellin pig's trotters coz my auntie cooked tis big pot, my gosh e smell is soooooo strong lar...i tried it, but i'm not entirely sure if i like it or i hate it, e taste kinda gives u a kick but den again its quite overpowering...my mp3 is spoilt! *wails loudly* jus shoot me i wan my mp3 so badly now...haix...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

blogthing

2005-11-06T06:56:00.000-08:00

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.
You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

hmm tink tis is quite true noe...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

yesterdae

2005-11-06T05:53:00.000-08:00

yesterdae all my troubles seemed so far away...no it seems tat they r here to stay...ohhh i believe...in yesterdae...suddenly...love's not such an easy game to play...now i need to place to hide away...oops sorree tat song's been ringin in my head =P

ermm dunno if 2dae can be considered a good dae or not...started out quite good, went to christina's place to kop krispy kreme donuts...haha all sorts she had, n she was like cuttin pieces from each donut so i cld haf an assortment, gotta luv tat gurl man...

you noe tat dere's somethin tat i cld do...a decision tat i cld make...e rest of our lives await...

after tat met slowpoke at tamp to go to bang's house to do pw for wat we're all hopin will be e last time...ok i gotta credit slowpoke...FOR ONCE...LEELING WAITED FOR ME...FOR ONCE LEELING WAS EARLY..lolx...haha farni coz todae bang's dog hersey was in heat, so she was basically kept in e kitchen e whole time...n me jing2 n leeling looked at her thru e glass door of e kitchen...i tink it was jing2 or dunno mayb leeling who said "feels like lookin @ animals in e zoo like tat" hahahah super farni...den we practiced...dunno y 2dae i stuttered like hell..aiyo...not e thing i need 2 daes b4 my presentation...e bus ride back to tamp was fun...first of all we missed 2 buses coz i left my bottle at bang's house, den slowpoke was moanin n moanin tat we missed 2 buses coz i left my bottle...HA HA HA but i got e last laugh coz when we finally got on e bus, we passed by a previous bus tat broke down...so actually it was a blessing in disguise hehe...even slowpoke had nothin to say le...on e busride, we were like reminising all our previous busrides 2gether from tamp to hougang n back which was abit dumb lar...we even said bye to e PUB newater "mushrooms"...we finally solved e mystery eh poke?

came home to a sucky situation...i hate it when pple dun trust...hate it when pple doubt me...hate it when pple trust their frens b4 their family...or should i change e pple to my own family...

Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate

*OUT*
aLiSoN

esplanadae

2005-11-04T08:22:00.000-08:00

tiring dae, my body is aching aching aching all over =P consequence of not exercising for a long time lolx...started out by hangin @ blk 427, den went for badminton...coach was at e bedok sports hall lar, oh man i felt so malu to show him how much i deprove, den to make things worse he was trainin tis gurl from singapore team lar, den like he keep lookin my way whenever i was playin or when i was restin n observing him...a bit uncomfortable haha...got a tinsy whinsy bit unhappy when pple i was playin with kept tellin me tat they tot my coach wasn't gd, ok dere were times tat e gurl played better dem him, but his technique is still amazing to me...he's still one of e best badminton players i've seen considerin his age...and he cares for the kids he trains...haha i dun care wat other pple say, lolx or how sadist his trainings may b, coach still rox hahahahhahaah...aniwae i reali deproved alot, i realise i can't concentrate for long periods on court like i could b4 , and my long standing back injury wasn't helpin either...aiyo...but i dun wanna go sinseh!!

after tat rushed home to bathe n meet oh li choo for outdoor esplanade concert, i got to see rafe perform "everythin" oh man eva since tat song has been on radio, i have absolutely L.O.V.E.D it =P n rafe r a super gd live band, they were clear, n the drummer was cool, even though e two guitarists looked abit lame, like they didn't have much stage presence and didn't reali noe how to move lolx oh we bought their album jus for tat song haha...den got e lead singer to autograph for us, he's got a reali nice voice, and looks pretty friendly too, too bad he smokes though...abit sad coz if he continues sure will affect his voice n popularity, c'mon even taufik quit smokin haha...oh yah super mario from power98 performed with filipino band bad for boys, they did alot of covers, some of my fav songs like when i see u smile and everythin i do i do it for u...haha yup sappy love ballads n such...

Is anybody gonna save me
Can anybody tell me what’s going on
Tell me what’s going on
If you open your eyes
You’ll see that something is wrong

i dunno i dunno i dunno how i feel, but i'm tired of u doubtin me or doubtin urself or wateva, n u jus left me hangin here, my brain n heart feels dead n u have no idea becoz u jus left me hangin here...wow sounds like a song lolx...i'm veri emo now n i dun haf u...i suggested e easy way out becoz i dun tink either of us wants to keep goin thru tis...sadly our lives will alwaes have limitations, u said so urself...

It doesn’t make sense to me

*OUT*
aLiSoN

chi a'levels

2005-11-02T20:16:00.000-08:00

You Should Get a MBA (Masters of Business Administration)

You're a self starter with a drive for success.
You'd make a great entrepreneur.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

woohoo i'm an entrepreneur!! haha i suddenly realised i haven't blogged bout chi a'levels...well it was e first time in a long time tat i won't get 0/5 for e first section, but i made 1 careless mistake in it i tink i shall onli get 1/5 for it =P
aiyo den e rest is jus anihow poon one lolx...n i tink my compo is sooo simplified, like sec sch standard, esp when i went for toilet break in btw papers n i heard people tokkin bout wat they wrote for compo, den i felt sooo dumb i wanted to bury my head in a hole lar...

haix todae goin to my godparent's place for hari raya, prolly gonna lock myself up in one of the rooms n vegetate in front of e tv, n eat eat eat coz dun feel like entertainin pple 2dae...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

another one

2005-11-02T06:48:00.000-08:00

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.
You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.
Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.
People crave your praise and complements.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

ok enough for 1 dae =P
HAPPY BELATED DEEPAVALI N SELMAT HARI RAYA TO COME LOLX

*OUT*
aLiSoN

2005-11-02T06:31:00.000-08:00

You're an Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges
If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story
You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses
A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

ooooo interesting lolx
i'm totally jus stealin stuff from handsome's blog, tats coz i'm abit lazy to blog on my own

*OUT*
aLiSoN

no originality

2005-10-29T18:25:00.000-07:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

hmm all tis reali rings a bell...btw i'm koppin all these quizzes from handsomes blog haha she alwaes finds reali interesting stuff

*OUT*
aLiSoN

random

2005-10-29T18:05:00.000-07:00

Your Birthdate: September 9

Your birth on the 9th day of the month adds a tone of idealism and humanitarianism to your nature.
You become one who can work easily with people because you are broadminded, tolerant and generous.
You are ever sensitive to others' needs and feelings, and you are very sympathetic and compassionate.

Your feeling run deep and you often find yourself in dramatically charged situations.
This 9 energy always tends to give more that it gets.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

wow tat makes me sound like a humanitarian or somethin...psst but actually tink i'm quite evil inside...

weee hols r here! hols r here! hols r here! lolx...can't wait for us to be done with pw in e first 2 wks den can enjoy, can't wait for badminton trainin to start but dun tink will be so soon coz of a'levels =< all my frens ard me are gettin jobs lar, cherr was e first, den teresa is in k-box now, kit's tokin bout gng to wild wild wet, saw cindy at kfc, my god is it jus me or isit a sign from god tat i shld pick my ass off my couch n get a job? wouldn't mind e money but one word LAZY =P

i've been feelin rather off balance these daes, haha partly coz i've been havin these groggy spells frm outta nowhere n i still dun noe e cause...also coz my life is jus off track, in a gd n bad way...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

wat is home?

2005-10-20T00:50:00.000-07:00

And I'm torn in pieces
I'm lyin there waiting for
My heart is reeling

i've been reali pushed to my limits these daes, for some time home was neva a place i could obtain e peace i need from life, but i understood e circumstances n i tolerated as much as possible, but these daes i can't take it no more...i'm so tired, tired of xplainin myself to pple who will neva understand, pple who dun give me a chance, pple who onli tink e worst of me when they're e veri ones who raised me n shld noe me e best but in fact noe shit...everytime i fight back, i noe i hurt dem, but do they noe tat wat they say hurts me? do they noe tat everytime i fight back its like stabbing my own heart? its times like these tat i reali wanna runaway...pls lord, i need a break, i feel like i've done everythin they asked for, obeyed every command they've given, achieved things neva achieved b4, n yet i am given no pardon for anythin i do nor understandin for e fact tat my life might not be as rosy as it looks...

Now this angry little girl
Drownin in this petty world

God, it's good to be alive

*OUT*
aLiSoN

shoo fly shoo

2005-10-15T08:18:00.000-07:00

its 11.20pm n i am pleased to announce tat i will finally be gng bk to slp in my rm!! haha ok ok coz like for a few wks deres been like tons of mosquitos campin out in my rm suckin my blood dry, so can't take it anymore, called e pest control pple to SPRAY ALOT OF INSECTICIDE TO KILL DEM ALL MUAHAHAHAHAHAH lolx sadist me, but hey deres onli so much sympathy a person can haf for another livin thing especially if it is literally suckin e life out of u!! but coz alot of insecticide equals to stinky-rm-to-e-pt-tat-u-can't-breathe-when-in-it i haf been parkin myself on e couch, not bad leh, didn't suffer frm bk pains or lack of slp even though my couch has such a small width tat u can't turn without fallin of haha...oh n unknown to me, e adults in e house bought me n my sis a double-decked bed...tink i'm gonna feel abit weird coz i've onli eva slept on e upper deck of a bed once, n tat was durin obs n i could barely slp a wink lar...i still rmb myself lyin on e bed lookin at e tiles of e roof thru e window, ay but tinkin bk i tink it may haf been coz e mosquitos were buzzin in my ear e whole time tat time hahaha oh see see how e mosquitos haf been botherin me all my life...considerin e fact tat i onli took action now, i tink i'm quite sympathetic alreadi k...

i can be promoted! yay! kinda suprised at my results n even foo lao shi say i made alot of improvement, but den again when u haf ct results like C O O e onli way u can possibly go is up i suppose...chi a'level is nxt, but chi has neva reali been my subj, i jus wan a B coz i tink tats e most i can possibly achieve for chi...oh n i must say I MISS E BADMINTON GURLS!! esp shuling (pro nerd/mugger, 4eva readin earli in e mornin), goat ( goat n sunbear rox!), mich lee (lets order bee hoon for real e nxt time we haf zi cha!), handsome (i miss takin bus with u!!), jingfang (though i see u ALL e time lolx)

You know you better than anyone else

well, somethin happened tonite, it puts everythin @ risk...i dunno wat e future holds, i jus feel like givin up sometimes, but yet i neva haf...i'm confused, tink i'm fucked up too...i dunno if i can hold on, coz i dunno if things will eva be e same after tis...aiyo...nvm...

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,

*OUT*
aLiSoN

fear

2005-10-07T08:48:00.000-07:00

wooohoooo promos over man! out e window! dun ask me how i'll fair coz my response will be e usual one...but i do noe one thing, when i was showerin tonite, i suddenly became veri scared, a total uncontrollable fear concernin e issue above came over me n i haf no idea y, figuratively i felt vulnerable standin dere naked in e shower, i dun wanna face wats comin...den i snapped, nope e fear aint gonna control me...yes my heart will beat like its on cocaine e moment b4 i get my results, but hey if shit happens den it happens man...tinkin bout it now ain't gonna flush e shit down e toilet bowl, its onli bringin e shit closer to my face...ermm excuse me for e weird analogy BUT i've been kinda havin a bit of constipation these few daes =P

marathon badminton todae for 3hrs, bad idea, we so DO NOT haf e stamina to play badminton continuously for 3hrs, by e 1 1/2 hr mark, we were all dyin lolx...but seriously it felt reali gd to play badminton again, my solace from e world, ermm tink i didn't de-prove (hmm is tat how u spell it?) as bad as i tot i wld...e plan was to go to carl's jr to visit cherr who's workin dere later, but coz suprise mah, so when we got to orchard in our stinky jerseys n flip flops (memories of a previous xperience man! =P) we find out she's jus knocked off lar, lolx but nvm we made her come all e way bk! haha short legs in baggy red n black uni!! look even shorter! haha god i'm evil!! den she lead us thru marina car park, i swear i neva walk thru car park for sooo long b4 lar, haha like neva endin, but i must say its much shorter way k, go dere eat e gigantic burgers (we neva ate anythin for e rest of e day) n amazin tastin onion rings, gossip bout cherr's guys =P den haf trouble splittin e bill n den like typical singaporeans, decide wat to do to save money e nxt time we come here...oh but E ONION RINGS REALI ROCK!! walked round marina n suntec with charis, leeling, zhengyi n xtina but didn't reali see anythin tat caught my eye, wan new bag, wan new pencilcase but NEED new shoes...yup shoes e priority rite now...

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh

time crisised with xtina after e others left, haha tink they all tink we damm childish peeps who still can't breakaway from arcade, but e truth is, to me lar, i enjoy playin e game, e adrenaline it gives me, gives me somethin to focus on besides my fallin apart life n somethin to truely vent frustration on...oh did i mention i enjoy playin e game lolx...oh suntec got royce chocolate!! oh man i super luv tat brand of chocs but can't seem to find e one i reali like plus dun even rmb wats it called le shoot man...bused to katong to play fotohunt, NEW CHAMPIONS lolx...we beat e jolinangel woman/man/others whoeva, yay! ahahaha must go dere n play more often coz i dun wan pple to take our title!! walked to parkway to play pool, oh man i suck so i'm jus gonna fast forward lolx...sat on e benches in e park near pp...emotions runnin high...tamed in e end...

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know

HUNGRY!!! I CRAVE FOR MAGGI MEE!! BUT I BRUSH MY TEETH LE N I REFUSE TO EAT ANYTHIN AFTER DOIN SOOO!! (i can jus picture a certain someone gng "anal"!)

*OUT*
aLiSoN

sexy

2005-09-29T07:21:00.000-07:00

What Makes You.. by SheBangs12
Your name?
Your gender?
What makes you sexy?	Your hair
What makes you pretty?	Your figure
What makes you loveable?	How fun you are
What makes you fun?	Your positive attitude
What makes you irresistable?	Your kiss
What makes you cute?	Your voice

Quiz created with MemeGen!

hahahahah funny siah!!

*OUT*
aLiSoN

while waiting... meaningless post

2005-09-23T23:56:00.000-07:00

lalala
haha haha haha
i hope i'll be healthy always
hmmm i'll take GREAT care of myself
muahaha
otherwise SOMEONE will be damn sad =<
now waiting for room man
whee come out le come le
ahahahahahahahah
okie think can go in later le
hee hee hee
done

hahaha love the disc !

Five people you meet in heaven will be moi

and the stupid jap guy cant rem his damn loooonnnnnnngggggggg name whatever

hee

I have sweaty armpits !
and love moi THICK MAO
my little slit on my cheek
my nice eye brows, that seems to slant 15 degree

haha haha haha haha

okie just kidding

NOT TRUE

just the nice, 9weeks

THIS IS SO NOT BY ALISON CHIN MM

jgww

2005-09-16T08:14:00.000-07:00

rmb readin cherr's blog yest...she's quittin tpjc, oh man i was like in state of shock, jus starin at e comp screen, didn't understand lar, i realised she was tokin bout poly n whether passion is more impt den pay etc etc, but i neva xpected her to quit...bombshell man i tell u...i dun tink she shld quit, she's quite an intelligent person to me...but of course if she's not happy, all e intelligence in e world isn't gonna help her...all e best gurl! i reali dun wan u to leave, but if this is wat u reali wan, den i'm happy for u! jia you k! do well in mass comm, hopefully we'll work 2gether someday or somethin =P

2dae met up with jol lolx...suppose to mug lor, we planned like we wld mug for some time b4 we go play, in e end we mug like 45mins den e rest of e time we played haha...oh man freaky, when i went to e pp busstop to meet her we met mrs florence tan, she was like our phy teacher in sec sch, but she quit halfway thru sec3 or 4 coz of stress or somethin, like mental breakdown, den she neva came bk, n from wat we heard she retired or somethin...den outta e blue 2dae she tokked to us like old frens, but e best part was tat she didn't even rmb our names lar! super funny man! i was damm freaked out when i saw her lolx...at first we went to bk to mug, but got too many pple so we change to kfc, but e moment we started, tis whole bunch of vjcians came in tokked super loudly lar, den cannot concentrate, so we like crapped e whole time, it was like write 2 sentence crap half-an-hour, haha miss hangin with jol man...yup thanx gurl, gd to noe tat i can call on u anytime!! after dinner at foodcourt, our examination foodplace lolx...memories man i tell u...porridge n yong tau foo haha...

den we went to e beach! oh but super not nice coz wkend, den got alot more pple den usual, tents n bbq everywhere, ruined e nite air! but we decided to walk all e way to vjc dere, quite tirin, esp since jol has long legs n walks less steps den me! haha took retarded pics n got a bit drunk, so much so tat jol almost kissed e tree jus coz i asked her too, den on e way we saw tis amazing scene...undescribable, it was e moon, slightly blocked by clouds, but yet u cld still see e moonlight quite clearly, e moonlight was reflected by e sea, so it looked like heaven opened n was shining down on e sea...oh man, i longed soooo badly to jus swim out n bask in e moonlight...e scene was jus beautiful...

injured my foot i tink, it was hurtin a few days ago alreadi, but i didn't do much bout it, tot it was jus an ordinary sprain, haha but now after all tat walkin, it hurts damm alot n kinda swollen lolx...but i can still walk, i bandaged it, hopefully it doesn't get worse tomoro *fingers crossed*

*OUT*
aLiSoN

stress

2005-09-10T19:24:00.000-07:00

I still think of you
And I just wanted to
Just wanted you to know

stress stress stress, everywhere i turn pple i noe r facin stress in different forms, wat would e world be like if it was stress free...guess everybody would kinda take things for granted...hmm stress is gd, in controllable amounts....but i am STRESSED! lolx...promos jus reali round e corner, n i onli noe bits n pieces of my work, n dere remains chapters tat haven't been taught...i'm reali desperate to be promoted, but wonder if i started to work a tad too late...its like i'll do work n i'll noe how to do it, but e nxt thing i noe, e teacher asks me a qn n like i can't ans...den i'll feel like crap n damm insecure...guess we'll haf to see how tis one plays out...

I swear I never meant for this
I never meant...

i learnt a lesson todae...=P it proves wat i've believed all along...i'll neva do it again...it was so convienient to take e easy way out, everybody was doin it aniwae...kinda paid e price...but i noe now..haha...

spent yest muggin, after dinner i went to 427 to kop songs from her royal-highness-who-can-onli-come-out-at-nite...she got alotta of songs i wanted! happy! lolx...i haf some songs i dloaded from baidu tat she dun haf, but dunno y can't seem to add it into my mp3...sux man...coz some of those songs i reali like lar...i reached her place @ bout 8pm i tink...den jus looked at songs all e way till 10pm...oh KRISPY KREME!! oh man luved e sugar coating on e donuts tat her sis brought bk...it s like after eatin, u can still feel e cream in ur mouth lolx...oh den @ 10pm i rmb i was suppose to buy chwee kueh for bfast todae, so we like reali sprinted all e way to e interchange...hahas...in slippers somemore, we were like mad, everybody staring wonderin y these two gurls runnin thru e interchange like being chased or somethin...but i got my chwee kueh!

argghhhh sooo fast, hols over le! by nxt hols, my fate would haf been sealed...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

so sick

2005-09-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

Like I predicted, We're at the point of no return

i'm sick of tis...tis isn't e first time u've made me go thru tis...i dunno y it alwaes happens but i'm reali sick, i tink i deserve more den tis from u...i tot we had an understanding tat i tink i can rarely haf with most other pple...guess mayb i was wrong...i reali dun wanna do anythin i regret...but i guess dere r other things tat matter more to u n i'll understand...jus dunno how much more i can take...if u're gonna take my suggestion, do let me noe k...

And it makes no difference who is right or wrong
I deserve much more than this
'Cause there's only one thing I want

i shld haf trusted ur feelin tis afternoon...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

buses n trains

2005-09-03T21:03:00.000-07:00

went 2 e comex fair @ suntec yest, oh man totally claustrophobic xperience, e crowd as like undescribable n everywhere u turn dere are pple thrusting flyers n papers n tryin to drag u to their booths, selling everything from printers to insurance to credit cards...MAD HOUSE!! main aim to go dere was to get myself an mp3 player, got one from some brand i've neva heard b4, but seriously i tot it looked cool, e rest all either too metallic, or e colour not nice, or too big, or looked like lipsticks lolx...yeah i buy tech products based on e way they look, so sue me! i tink i spent @ most 20mins to decide n buy it, e rest of 1hr+ i spent in e fair was tryin to manuever myself ard e crowd lolx...on my way up to e comex fair, i saw tis sports goods fair n i rmb tellin myself tat i was gonna come bk after i got my player to check out e stuff, but i got sooo sick of all e pple, i fled suntec as soon as i got my player...

reached home n loaded songs into e player, man i miss my songs folder b4 my comp crashed! all my fav songs inside...*sob* after tat went to do benzene tutorial, got a msg from j-oh haha she herself told me e nite b4 if she ask me to go out i must not agree lolx in e end we still ended up meetin after dinner to do e lamest thing lar...take bus from bedok to woodlands n from woodlands to katong, but den again i didn't hesistate when she ask me lar, coz as long as i'm hangin with e rite person i dun mind gng anywhere, but if i'm gng with someone i can't even tok to, gng to e nearby mama shop is pure torture! she showed me innova literally "the-new" junior college, haha e way she used to run off in 1st 3mths damm hilarious, thru a gap in e fence lolx walked to causeway pt to take bus bk home, OLD CHANG KEE!! i still crave to eat it now, eva since last nite lar...but e queue soooo super long, n i hate waiting lor!! if i eva wait for u, or i queue up for somethin for u, u better be super grateful coz i hate queueing n waitin! unless i'm in a gd mood or i'm feelin super charitable...ok i sound like a tyrant rite? lolx

sat like a xiao hun hun on e pavement of e junction to my house while waitin for j-oh's dad...it was quite nice, now i noe i dun haf to walk rd my neighbourhood le...i can jus sit dere...

The ghost of you and me
When will it set me free
I hear the voices call
Following footsteps down the hall
Trying to save what's left
Of my heart and soul

*OUT*
aLiSoN

service learnin

2005-09-02T06:44:00.000-07:00

Nothing seems to be the way
That it used to
Everything seems shallow

yooohooo todae i went to metta association to do service learnin! must say i didn't reali noe wat to xpect lar, coz like neva do volunteer work at an elderly rehab center b4, apprenhensive at first, plus e rain made me even more dun feel like gng...but aniwae i went...we reached dere earli so we didn't haf to go in yet, me charis leeling jus kinda walked past e place n took a peek thru e windows, dere was alot of elderly pple dere, alot more den we expected, dere was like onli 13 of us n i tink there must haf been 40 elderlies dere...so for e first half an hour we kinda jus slacked down dere coz they were doin arm exercises with e physiotherapist, den e woman in charge of e center came to speak to us to xplain tat most of dem here were stroke patients, n later we wld haf to serve dem e pandan cakes we bought, after tat some of dem will go home while some others will stay a little longer, after which we wld play games and after all e elderlies haf gone home, we wld clean up e place...haha jasper told me tat most of e guys were jus stonning n not even paying attention to wat e woman was say lolx...

coz i was still kinda sufferin from flu, so i was advised by ken not to haf too much contact with e elderlies, so all e gurls n ken n junlong went to serve e elderlies tea n pandan cake, while i waited at e side with da wei, alvin, jasper, caleb n ziyang...it was quite cute watchin kit n charis serve e old folks, kit with e tis big smile on her face, passin dem tea, while charis holdin e pandan cake box n wearin a plastic glove passin dem e pandan cake...after tat some of e elderlies went home, so e guys helped dem onto their wheelchairs n pushed dem to e bus, while e rest of us arranged e chairs in 2 rows of 11 for e games! we sat alternate, 1 elderly 1 student, haha charis n e old man she sat nxt 2 became gd frens lolx tokin bout everythin under e sun, n e 2 rows passed bean bags n competed against each other, to us it might haf jus been a simple boring game, but i could tell tat e elderlies reali enjoyed it, they got reali excited n reali wanted to win! lolx n tink they influenced us in e end coz we got super competitive too, even resortin to cheatin by passin 2 bean bags at a time! den they did some exercises by walkin up ramps, n jus for e fun of it, we participated n walked up e ramps too! e whole xperience reali tugged at my heartstrings coz all of us went dere not noeing wat 2 xpect, but after e elderlies went home, we all agreed tat we wld come bk again after promos! esp me! coz i feel tat i didn't get to do much coz of my flu =p

after tat we stacked back e chairs n mopped n sweeped e floor, e gurls did tat, e guys were not so lucky, they had to clean e toilets! lolx...lets jus say it wasn't exactly wat they had xpected n needless to say they didn't enjoy it haha...i bought a cute purple bear christened "messy mao" lolx, seriously i tot e bear was cuter den e rabbit/ dog (yeah i can't even tell if its a rabbit or a dog lar) tat zhengyi n charis bought

after tat i decided to go see doc coz i've neva suffered from flu for so long b4, plus i was coughin quite badly tis mornin, as in like dry cough, so i was afraid it wld affect my voicebox...haha can see all of u rollin ur eyes now...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

friday

2005-08-26T06:25:00.000-07:00

weee!!!!!! wkend is finally here! 2moro me n my class peeps gonna take a trip bk to queensway and leeling's fav ikea to confirm our jerseys! they chose e black n white one!! yes!! after a revote, it looks like i'm gonna get e one i like after all!! yipee!!

todae durin gp class we had quite an interestin convo bout racism...tokked bout whether or not e college practices racism, coz in e start of 2nd intake, our class actually had bout 5 malay students, but b4 lessons even started, they were all transfered to s08 n 5 chi students came n took their place...nope we're not complainin bout e students who came, but rather y e xchange took place at all...leeling says its coz mdm lim is a chi teacher, but i dun tink tats a gd xcuse for e college to use coz mdm lim so obviously can speak english, n i mean understandable english for a chi teacher too...now our whole class is completely chi, n when u look at s08 the majority of their students are malays, tink the chi students number less den 10...

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

went to audi for maths lect...haf been doin so since bock boon took over, seriously it is onli durin bock boon's lect tat i find myself not lookin at my watch every 5 mins, bk in lt1, i'll keep starin at e clock on e wall, tryin to use my non-existent mind power to move e hands of e clock faster lolx...tink i'm gonna stay in audi for as long as its bock boon, but will move bk if e lecturer changes coz leeling's alone in e lt...haha n mayb i'll start missing mrs foong's voice hahahaha

after sch i ponned aces, actually was plannin to go but when i reached e hall it jus felt wrong so i ponned b4 e thing started, went to e lib to mug with teresa, onli mug for bout half an hour b4 we went to watch e ge yao comp...cheryl sings damm well, future steph sun man! sounds alot like her too...tink i onli reali enjoyed her performance, the rest were so so or jus bad, slpt durin some performances also...i left teresa with her fren n went bk up to e lib @ bout 4+, stayed till 6pm den i left sch coz i felt super tired n i dun like wearin my sch uni for too long...

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep

And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in

*OUT*
aLiSoN

tiring few daes

2005-08-24T07:19:00.000-07:00

ok i haf to say tat bio prac on monday was undoubtedly one of e most sickenin ones i've eva done in my life!! first of all me n charis n khoon yi came in late coz we went toilet (as usual lolx), by e time we entered e lab, everybody had their specimens (leaf) alreadi, so e 3 of us quickly rush out n grab e first leaf we can see...haha we ended up grabbin mint leaves k! our hands stunk like ughhh!! it was a damm strong smell lar! but no choice so we beared with it...den we were required to use a straw, yes a measly plastic straw to cut discs out of an alreadi veri flimsy leaf, haha den when u collected 5 discs n happen to jus leave e straw on e table, e fan will blow it off! by e time u pick e straw up, all e discs would haf dropped out n u haf to do it all over again! haha...rmb leeling was suggestin tat they invent a mini corkborer kinda device for tis kinda experiments lolx...basically e whole expt is based on these discs kinda sinkin n floating...yeah..it kinda drove all of us bananas...while waitin for our discs to float n sink, me,kit, cherr, gina, khoon yi, charis, leeling, teresa, zhengyi basically tokked crap together, hafin mass discussions bout anythin n everythin other den e experiment n after a while we kinda didn't care bout our experiment anymore, much to ms leo's disapproval lolx...

went for badminton trainin after tat, hmmm kinda feel tat i'm improvin! but trainin is gonna end nxt mon for us to start preparin for e big PROMOS, gonna stop till dec...oh yarh, e class chose a red n white jersey...say it with me "ITS SOOO LIKE SINGAPORE FLAG LAR!" haha...but tink my onli hope is if dere's no sizes, or we'll likely end up with tat...seriously i tink e black n white one is wayyyyyy cooler...haix...too bad we haf sooo many red lurvers in class...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

update

2005-08-21T06:33:00.000-07:00

thanx to ms short legs aka cherrlyn's reminder i'm here to update my blog...but kinda suffering from stm rite now so i'm jus gonna blog briefly from fri lolx...

fri was e 3rd/4th placing match for my team in e tpjc badminton open, our opponent was e last remainin non-seeded team in e comp, so we won them lar...but didn't tink i played well, me n vera teamed up for gurls doubles n i kinda spaced out of it halfway, first set we were kinda on a roll, we won 11-2, but 2nd set both of us couldn't focus n we kept hittin e net, thankfully vera woke up first n started killing every shot she could, we fought from 3-1 down to 4-4, i knew i was off-form e moment we reached 3-1 so i kinda let vera do all e killing while i jus took a backseat and supported her, we won 11-5 in e end =p overall i tink our team is quite strong actually n quite capable of takin e title, haha we still haf nxt yr!! the champions will be champs nxt yr!!

after badminton open i rushed home to put down my sch bag n change into fresh set of clothes b4 speedin off to meet my class to play badminton again, but tink i kinda strained thigh muscle while warmin up for my match durin e badminton open so it hurt like shit, but of course i wasn't gonna tell e guys, got damm frustrated when i couldn't reach net shots...must learn to control my temper n display no emotion! lolx...after tat hung with oh li choo, we jus walked n walked, from bedok cc to tjc, could haf walked more if it wasn't for my leg haha...

realise tat i'm becomin quite a nite mugger nowadays, esp wkends, mugged till bout 1am on fri nite, so i woke up @ 11am e nxt mornin lolx...went to oh li choo's place to study till bout 7pm, i felt tis time it was more conducive den e last coz for some reason or another i reali put in effort to do my work rather den slack n get distracted...oh after tat we went airport to eat swensens! haha i haven't been to airport since sendin yipin off lar...yup was nice...long bus ride home too...

2dae i went to queensway with jasper, leeling, junlong n kit, went to take a look at class jerseys coz leeling n jasper both r quite desparate to get it...saw a few nice ones, i like tis black n white nike one which also comes in blue n white, but lee ling, jasper n kit all like tis red one, i dun like e red one coz its round neck n kinda common haix but tink i lose lor coz 3 against 1 mah...i noe i shall save $$ n buy e black n white one for myself!! oh yah i wanna buy new sling bag too but i haven't seen any nice ones, i still dream of crumpler but i guess tats way over budget le...after tat we went to ikea, leeling n jasper both neva been dere b4, so we sounded like a bunch of country bumpkins goin omg omg omg! at every comfortable chair or bed we sat on, it was hilarious i tell u! i got to eat my daim pie!! i luve tat pie man, super nice to me...after tat i tink kit, jasper n junlong went to eat nasi lemak but i went to oh li choo's place to teach her bio, oh man tat was such a failure coz i couldn't ans 3/4 of her qns...i feel so dumb lar...in e end we ended up slackin rather den doin work...haha music, messed up bed, no lights...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

dirty little secret

2005-08-15T07:36:00.000-07:00

"Dirty Little Secret"
All-American Rejects

Let me know that I've done wrong
When I've known this all along
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know
When we live such fragile lives
It's the best way we survive
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know
The way she feels inside (inside)
Those thoughts I can't deny (deny)
These sleeping dogs won't lie (won't lie)
And all I've tried to hide
It’s eating me apart
Trace this line back

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret)

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret
Dirty little secret
Dirty little secret

Who has to know
Who has to know

oh luv tis song rite now...hearin it everywhere =P

sundae i became a mugger, went to blk 427 to study with e person who lives dere lolx...not bad lar, her rm is nice n cosy, kinda away from e rest of e world, a gd place to jus hang...

wooo! todae most pple came 4 trainin coz we were takin foto, but coz todae trainin damm shag, dun tink e foto turned out veri nice but it was reali great to see everyone again, coz of badminton open, we haven't trained 2gether in a while... todae's trainin was unlike any b4...coach has gone sadistic on us, started by makin us run 6rds round e hall, den made us do i tink 4 sets of full court footwork...den he decided to be nice n let us do lobbin n drop shot, but after he saw all of us slackin he made us do relay n his relay is damm dumb lar, must do dunno how many jumps den sprint to e other side, den nxt rd requires us to hop to e other side, got lots more spastics positions we had to do lar, aiyo seriously he has quite imagination for torture lolx...den at e last part he made us do like gongfu stance for a total of 20mins!! i rmb e last 10mins he was like go take ur hps or anythin tat will distract u from e pain, so i grabbed my hp and called oh li choo, but she didn't reali help much haha it was still super pain, but i tokked n crapped too loudly with her n e coach was like stop tokin! so noisy! hahahhaha now my thighs r super pain!! aahahaha tomoro 5 stations is a goner man! i'm super tired now...my eyes closin lolx...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

balancing act

2005-08-13T05:59:00.000-07:00

badminton with e class tis mornin but my heart n spirit wasn't reali dere...was worried for kit, so i neva truely focused at all...haha i tink e onli time i reali gave my best was when i was playin half court with ziyang and later junlong...i quite enjoy playin with junlong, he makes me run, i make him run, and our rallies can last for quite long, but usually i'll end up laughin n drop e ball lolx...den dere was twister fries n being pang seh...man tat was super weird...but shan't elaborate...after leavin cc i made my way to shujing's house...

when i got dere i felt mixed emotions coz i haven't seen shujing in super long time! but we couldn't exactly be estatic coz of kit, so kinda hung out in her room n comforted kit...i dunno wat to do for her...to be e good guy or e bad guy...but seriously i tink she's not gonna buy into anythin me or shujing tell her...i've neva seen kit like tis b4 n i'm seriously worried...when we finally comforted her down, we started crappin n laughin, it was sooo much like wat we used to do, me n kit gang up to bully shu jing, kit being violent towards me haha...listenin to music n learnin how to knit! oh man i still can't believe shujing is now into knitting! so auntie lar! den shu jing tryin to impress me with her french even though she was jus readin from a bk! had to leave kit in shu jing's care coz i had tuition...oh man super sian...

quite stressed out now, bio spa on mon, pw 2nd draft written report to generate by thurs, gp presentation on thurs or fri haha can't rmb, functions test on wed or thurs or mayb even tues,thermochem test on thurs, chem spa trial on wed! haha suddenly tot of wat my fren said "SPA is used to help people relax...how come i feel more stressed during e process of it?!" haha...n all e teachers houndin us tat promo's r in 6wks ain't helpin...readin all my frens's blogs n almost all of em mention studies in some way or e other...

Full moon in the midnight sky, and you feel like you wanna run

*OUT*
aLiSoN

how long

2005-08-12T06:45:00.000-07:00

its been ages since my last post...hahaha...jus tat i've been super tired these days even though i've been slpin quite early...

ok lets tink...hmmm...oh yarh, was suppose to spend e whole of wed muggin, den haf math tuition, but @ bout 11am like tat junlong called me n asked me if i wanna play badminton...haha dun haf guess wat my ans was rite?? lolx...so i cancelled tuition hahaha...went to play badminton but not b4 i finished my math hw...hehe responsible gurl k! had fun lar, ken bought a new raquet! exactly e same as mich lee's one...sintec armorace 800 i tink...super gd!! nice n lite! but i'm not jealous lar, i chose to buy e raquet from coach, so must slowly develop feelin for it like my old TI 33 which HE broke lolx...after tat went to eat dinner with teresa n oh li choo...i'm feelin a bit guilty for keepin E THING a secret from teresa, but seriously i jus didn't wat to say, n whether sayin it to her was a gd thing coz i didn't noe how she wld react...sorreee gurl, but we'll alwaes be here k...we'll alwaes b on ur side n u can count on tat!

thurs went bk to sch after a loooonnnnnggggg break n reali felt e effects of it haha...oh yarh...stayed bk to haf peer mentoring with charis e boss, leeling e assistant boss, n e pupils were me, ken, bang2 and jasper (who came late! lolx) aahahah charis was like tuition teacher, "we are all gonna get As for promo!", "do u understand y isit like tat not?", "u must understand u cannot memorise!", "ok let me give u another example den u do n show me" hahhahahah....so much so tat ken got irritated n said "oh man tis feels jus like tuition lar!" but no doubt charis is a gd teacher, she's patient (duh esp with a pupil like me!) n can tell tat she reali prepared herself n made sure she knew everythin b4 e peer mentoring session...dun tink she reads my blog lar, but bout wat u told me tis mornin charis, dun let it bother u k! we all appreciate ur hard work, n reali hope u dun lose tis enthusiasm towards helpin us...coz i reali tink ur a great teacher...oh yarh thurs i finally settled somethin, n i'm reali happy tat i did, i neva believed tat they could find e pple who did it, but they did...n i'm soooo sure...sooo sure...i'll prolly neva 4get their faces eva....

todae was badminton open semi-finals n my team lost...haix but i tink we lost with our heads held high, i neva expected us to come all e way to e semi-finals, n like wat elvin said, "as long as we noe in our hearts tat we're champions can le!" haha...sounds a bit cocky, but i reali believe tat we haf e calibur to win! haha...gd job to kai xiang n boon long for winning bois doubles n to serene for playin a gd match with me! haha...vera fought veri hard against cheryl n lost by onli one pt!! even cheryl said tat it was one of e toughest match she eva played...haha b4 my match i had to go learn kickboxing coz i'm e fac rep, so i was damm tired alreadi b4 my match but we still won!!...oh yarh! kym n jonathan for mixed doubles, how cld i forget! soooo well-fought, against nicholas e ex-capt for our boys team somemore!they lost rubber set!! i reali tot we cld win after we fought bk n were a set apiece...haha...nvm GREAT JOB GUYS N GURLS!! NXT YR!! FINALS!!! =)

left after kym n jon's match to meet oh li choo, who became a guai kia n mugged in e library for 2 hrs! hahahha...*applause* ughhh wateva!! lolx den we took bus to katong dere, buy 5 star chicken rice n brought to e break water to eat...YEAH!! I FINALLY GOT TO GO BREAKWATER! oh man i felt soooo gd dere words cannot describe lar...haha e onli thing tat spoilt it was e rats lar, when it got dark, suddenly got rats everywhere n i got totally freaked so i pulled oh li choo n left hahaha...shucks...deres sooo many things i wanna say but i can't say here...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

flu

2005-08-09T06:37:00.000-07:00

ughhh i've got flu!!!!!! hate fallin sick...hate feelin e fact tat i haf to be confined at home...sian

mon i went to sch for national day...dunno y i did tat, coz onli e kuai kias do tat...jus had tis feelin e nite b4 tat i shouldn't pon, den on e bus ride dere teresa called me to ask me to pon with her, i was reluctant @ first, so when i reached sch i tried to persuade her to stay, but she kept complainin n pleadin tat i snapped n said "ok lets go" haha...so we rushed to e sch gate, we were like 5 steps away from freedom b4 we got caught by nordin...haix failure man! sat thru e whole chaotic national day celebration...realised tat e choir r actually not bad...haha i can hear zheng yi goin "duh! they won gold" alreadi...den spent bout 45mins jus slackin away with my class peeps deciding where to go after bio makeup...haha realise i luv my class peeps more n more...we're gettin reali bonded as a class now...lolx i almost died durin bio makeup n i mean literally coz i was starving!! my stomach was growling every 2 secs man! sped off to bugis after bio n by den e flu was alreadi takin hold of me, ate hot soupy stuff coz confident me tot i could beat e flu by doin tat...ay i reali did once k! once i felt like i was gonna haf flu, but i still went to play badminton k! n after tat e flu was gone! super gurl!! hahahah...but not tis time lar...i could onli take like 20mins of shoppin in bugis village b4 i gave up n ran home lolx...suppose to meet oh li choo for breakwater but cancelled coz i scared spread flu to her...so caring rite?? i rock! lolx yah can hear all of u puking rite now...

went home n took a nap, which is an achievement coz i neva take naps! unless i'm not feelin well or i went for camp...woke up n got msg from oh li choo n i sorta told her i wanna eat ice cream, den dunno y suddenly she asked me if she could come over to my place coz she was in a bad mood, so i was like ok...den in my mind i'm tinkin how to calm a person in a bad mood down when my nose leakin mucus non-stop haha...so while waitin for her to come we continued msgin n den e ice-cream man drove past my place! i flipped lar, ran outta e house n bought ice-cream lolx, of course i told her bout tat too...guess wat lar, turns out she came all e way to my place to bring me ice-cream!! hahahahahah her suprise ermmm #3 i tink...kinda backfired...lolx...she was kinda upset e whole time after tat, couldn't stop whining n moanin, while i being e gd fren tat i was couldn't stop laughin!!! lolx...we walked rd my place for bout 2+hrs after tat, jus walkin rd tis orange-black nite n tokin...haha went church to use toilet...took a pic for charis...got a weird piggy back ride, had a scare with my phone...

just like i predicted,
we're at the point of no return

jus got off e phone with xiao qing again, spent bout a gd part of an hour tokin to her...bout e board, bout o'levels, jus e kinda things i used to tok to her bout...she makes me miss bvss all over again, e board n mrs lee also...mrs lee is steppin down!! noo!! she's like one of my best memories of e board n she's steppin down...so no matter wat i'm gonna try to rush bk for investiture tis yr...must tok to her one last time as e prefect mistress lolx...

no matter what i sacrifice its still neva enough

reali feelin e stress these days, got tons of uncompleted assignments, tutorials not to mention blood-suckin gp proj n pw...haha...but i'm not gonna cave in...must not cave in!! can't wait to play badminton again...tis fri got badminton open i tink n i'll most likely not be trainin b4 tat...i skipped e class badminton last sat coz i couldn't wake up lolx...

i can't control it,
if i sink or if i swim

*OUT*
aLiSoN

backtrack

2005-08-07T06:02:00.000-07:00

time to backtrack...yest went to watch macbeth with oh li choo coz my sis got free tix...ermmm couldn't say i reali enjoyed e show coz BASICALLY HALF E TIME I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WAT E ACTORS WERE SAYIN! ok if i haf to make one thing clear, i hate shakespearean english...i like shakespearean plays n his works, but i dun like e english...i tink if they did the play in present english, i would haf enjoyed it...haha...embarrasing part was tat halfway thru e show oh li choo need to go toilet...it was like i tink 20 mins from e interval but she cannot tahan le, wow e gurl's got guts man, she stood up n like left e theater in front of everybody, she either has guts or her control was like 0% le...haha...most likely e latter rite? after tat we kinda jus explored e area ard SRT coz like i haven't been dere in ages n oh li choo's neva been dere b4 in her life...e whole area is kinda arty farty expensivey kinda like...but e shoppin malls kinda dead, so we walked down from clark quay all e way to funan dere where we ate pastamania for dinner...oh b4 tat we went to tis guitar shop where...ok i shan't say in case it brings up painful memories, haha something bout payin alot more for an item n den findin e exact same thing at a cheaper price lolx...but like i told her man, its prolly worth more now tat it belongs to u, one day when ur ultimate dream has come true n u go auction off n i'm sure u'll get pots of $$ =P n i'll try my best 2 buy it lar, if u eva auction it off...promise! funny lar, she walked me home rite, den i walked her to e 33 busstop, but jus when i finally figured out which busstop she shld take from, e bus came n she didn't run after it! tat gurl arh! den she say she walk me back home coz her bus dun come so fast, so she did, den i walked her bk to e main rd...haha...dunno how many times we walked bk n forth lar...we were funny sight to behold kez...

after tat stayed up till bout 12.40+ doin pw n den helpin xiao qing out with her speech...pw is totally suckin my life man...2 sept is e investiture...still comtemplatin whether or not to go...i slpt for bout 3 hrs...den somethin which hadn't happen in a while happened again...shan't go into details...basically i onli slept for 3 hrs...it was bad...den i had to be in tampines to meet my pw grp @ 10am...haix...i looked n acted like a zombie man...

pw was not bad, we went to bang bang house! he has e cutest jack russell i haf eva seen in my life!! it was cuter den nancy n no doubt smarter den nancy too ( kit i'm neva gonna say nancy is a smart dog eva again!) e moment we entered e house lee ling was super scared lar, she screamed everytime e dog came near her n i became her shield, she wouldn't go anywhere in e house without me walkin in front of her, she held my hand like damm tight lar lolx...but she later kinda warmed up to hersey (dog's name), but i tink i played with hersey e most, had dog hair all over my clothing afterward lolx...n hersey licked my toes! damm cute lar...it was a ermm nice feelin? we didn't get much pw done in e end...less den i xpected anyway n we didn't even use e pie chart i spent all nite doing!! arghhh!! lolx...oh did i mention tat bang bang has nice songs, e songs in his comp r almost identical to mine b4 my comp crashed! shoot man...

reached home...ermmm...not ideal...not ideal at all, left e house for a long walk after dinner...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

band concert

2005-08-05T18:32:00.000-07:00

last nite was tpjc band concert! haha luv goin band concerts, haven't missed a single one i've eva had a chance to go to...not onli to support frens, but like e music too! dun reali understand how pple can fall aslp durin band concerts, ok granted tat i dun reali noe how to tell if they skipped a note or played off key, so i reali shldn't be judgin dem, but i'm usually mesmerised by e whole band...as in how sychronised their playin is, n no. of practices they've prolly had to put in jus for 1 concert lar...funny thing...charis was soooo small we had difficulty spottin her @ first, till we saw her red colour hair band! den she stood out alot haha...

and it's okay if you have go away

but yest was tirin...had to endure sch, after tat kit asked me to go bedok with her so i decided to keep her company coz she wasn't feelin too gd, den i had to rush bk to sch to learn e aces day dance/exercise, which isn't even exercise lar, its basically a dance...N I CAN'T DANCE TO SAVE MY LIFE!!! i was prolly e worst gurl dere lah, n some guys could do it better den me!! damm embarrassing! oh realised tat i'm quite a sucker for national day songs, esp e more recent ones...like dem more den usual pple aniwae...rushed bk home after tat to prepare for band concert...

But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings

after concert we went to eat supper, lao pa sat has sucky kuei chap!!! dun eat kuei chap dere!! not nice!! yuck!!! teresa n zheng yi had to leave 1st coz zheng yi's mom was gonna kill her if she didn't, so it was jus me n oh li choo sittin dere eatin even though we came with 4...haha after eatin oh li choo wanted to bring me to suprise #2, so we stood at e t-junction outside lao pa sat n tried to hail a cab...damm hilarious i tell u...we waited but all e cabs tat went passed all busy or on call, so we crossed to e other side n waited, den we saw e previous side suddenly had alot of empty cabs e moment we crossed over lar! tis basically repeated itself in a freaky pattern , as in like everytime we moved to a new section to wait for cab, e section where we came from suddenly got alot of cabs lar!! anywae pass e freaky part to e suprise...

waterfront at nite...indescribable reali...veri beautiful...e indoor stadium changes colour!! lolx tat was e coolest thing man, i was like country bumpkin down dere tell oh li choo, "changed colour! changed colour!!" haha...it was gd for me on an emotional level...yup oh li choo u noe where to find me nxt time rite, thanx gurl...we talked in depth bout trust issues, it was uncomfortable at first, but she kinda sussed it outta me, n seriously oh li choo i felt damm gd after i told u bout a certain someone with a 4 letter name, like tis weight off my heart or somethin lar...i dun reali noe y i haf trust issues...if onli i knew lar...but its jus like tat k...BUT i tink wat u said made sense, i can't keep it in dere 4eva, must trust my FEELING! ahahahha...give me time k...tinkin bout it huh...i tink i'm used to my frens tellin me their problems, so much so tat i've neva reali shared my own problems with dem...trait of a virgo i tink...read somewhere bout tis...when i got home i was still tinkin bout e waterfront n oh li choo...haha...

Not so little you and I anymore
And with this silence brings a moral story

*OUT*
aLiSoN

lyrics

2005-08-04T06:36:00.000-07:00

u were my strength when i was down
made me humble when i wouldn't bow
held on to e promise tat u'd be ard

but where were u when i was alrite?
still needed u though i was alrite
you did leave me tinkin i'd be alrite

its crazy but i'm fallin apart
its crazy how ur leavin me scarred
wherever u r

its crazy but i'm goin insane
feelin lost, confused n ashamed

was feelin lost in my own world
pls dun let it be e same sad story we all noe
i don't wanna be e one to let it all go
u continue to force my hand

e first part is from a song i heard on radio...dunno e name, tats y it kinda doesn't sound fluid coz i basically typed e lyrics from memory...e last paragraph is written by me lolx...n nope i didn't blog tis song coz of love...in case pple start tinkin i'm in luv again =P

*OUT*
aLiSoN

sooo many things

2005-08-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

wow...so many things haf happened since i last blogged...but lotsa of em i dun tink i can mention on my blog...which sux lar...rmb e time when nobody knew of my blog, i wrote watever i wanted on it...

lets start with e downside...05s07+oh li choo lost in their 3rd rd match of tpjc badminton open on mon...but i still haf to stand up n reali applaude dem, *applause!!!!!!!!!!* lolx...they've been 2gether less den a mth, they trained hard esp jasper n lee ling, had e right attitudes (cherr's neva say die attitude partly due to wantin to beat edwin of course lolx)and the strong team spirit is somethin tat reali sticks out in my mind...as an outsider, i've reali taken to dem...n if i'm not wrong, their e last all j1 non-seeded team left in e comp! the rest of the non seeded teams r all j2s!

shoot man, i'm my class fac rep lar n its damm troublesome being e fac rep! its like i haf to help out with e printin of national day tees for e sch...dun mind tat coz i actually tot it was quite fun plus i tink e designs reali not bad leh...but now i jus found out tat i haf to stay bk on 3 days to learn aces day workout to lead e sch lar!! damm shit i hate aces day workouts n i soooo do not wanna lead e sch! dunno how i'm gonna wriggle myself outta tis one...

todae while walkin round tampines interchange with teresa n zhengyi i saw chicky! chicky is my old sec sch fren, she was with her older sis...it was like i was jus walkin with e two of em n i walked rite passed her, den all of a sudden i felt tis damm painful slap on my hand...turned n look n dere she was grinnin at me lar! seein chicky reali makes me miss sec sch life man, if anybody knew chicky n me from sec1, u'd probably heard of all e probs we went thru together n e probs we caused each other, lets jus say we neva had it smooth sailing, dere was a pt when i reali tot i lost her frenship 4eva lolx...den on my way home, i kept tinkin of bv life...i miss 4e2, i miss my gang though kit is still with me, lets jus say it aint e same ( hint hint: boyfren!! lolx...she's gonna kill me if she finds out i blogged tis), i miss takin e bus with jolene!! my fellow 12ever!! i miss sittin on e breakwater with shujing n eatin chicken rice n tokin bout health problems lolx...i miss dennis my 1st eva badminton shifu! haix i realise tat if i continue tis entry will prolly neva end, so i tink u get e drift tat i'm jus in a damm nostalgic mood...suddenly i feel old lolx

was kinda lookin 4ward to sat cause i dun haf anythin on, so tot i could slack or relax or hang out with frens, but as it turns out, i haf to go show sisterly support to my sis stage production which she's stage mangering for e 1st time...dun mind goin to watch lar but i'm goin with my godsis which i barely speak to coz i haf absolutely no clue wat to tok to her bout... see e dilema i'm in, if i dun go my sis will be upset with me, but if i go i'll be puttin myself thru misery coz i haf nothin to say to my godsis n watchin a play with someone u can't tok to is like hell to me!!!

emotionally i haven't been e most stable person inside...on e outside i look normal i tink, or @ least i hope so...but i tink i'm quite a wreak inside...i wish i had e time to go to beach like i used to, jus stone on e breakwater...i jus need to clear my mind...

oh li choo

2005-07-30T19:28:00.000-07:00

yest i became a proper mugger, kinda lah...i mugged for e whole afternoon after i spent e whole mornin jus lazin ard e house lolx...in e middle of muggin oh li choo msg me to ask me to go out, den tat gurl dun wanna tell me where we r goin somemore! i hate pple who keep me in suspense lolx...so after studyin i went to take a nap b4 settin out to meet her, coz she dun wanna tell me where we goin rite, i dressed like i was goin beach lah, n in e end we went all e way to suntec, i felt super undressed!!

turns out tat her original plan was to bring me to watch fireworks becoz yest was e national day preview, but coz road close mah, so we had to walk quite a distance from where we got down haha...den so we were standin on nicol highway, waitin for e sky to turn dark lah, i realised i rmbered tat i saw e advertisment for national day sayin tat tis yr its gonna b at e padang! so we rushed from nichol highway, tryin to make our way to e padang, passed suntec, city link etc, tokked alot along e way, passed alot of smelly makeshift toilets n alot of noisy army vehicles hahahahah...when we finally exited city link, we heard like loud boomin kinda sounds, den we rushed out n caught like e last firework...yah...we rushed all e way dere to catch 1.5sec of fireworks lolx...failure...hahahahah....after tat we kinda jus walked ard esplanade, b4 endin up @ marina's cafe cartel eatin 10 scoops of ice cream for dinner...i realised tat i told oh li choo alot of things tat i haven't told pple who i consider closer to me, i jus feel comfortable with her i guess, easy to tell her things...i told her bout e taurus fren "curse" lolx...not b4 i found out tat she's a taurus! i tink i kinda freaked her out haha...but i'm gonna take her advice n see how things go...6 mths from 30th july 2005...

oh forgot to mention tat she gave me tis alarm mouse thingy, if u wanna noe how it works ask me k, but stand 10 feet away from me b4 i demonstrate lolx...it is rather refreshin goin out with someone like oh li choo, she's got alotta spontaneity bout her, reminds me a bit of e peeps in my gang from sec sch esp jolene coz she also kinda into e band thingy jus like jolene was b4 she went to mj n became a floorball freak lolx...its been a long time since i've gone out with no destination in mind, nowadays go out with jc frens its like we plan where to go n wat to do when we get there, rarely do we jus walk...

dun wanna tok bout e hell i got when i reached home...arghhhhh!!!!!!!

*OUT*
aLiSoN

todae...

2005-07-29T09:30:00.000-07:00

sch is gettin a bit borin and repetitive for me...haix...used to like gp till ms ong came along...mean she's definately not a bad teacher, but i haf difficulty seriously keepin myself awake durin her lessons man! in 1st 3mths gp was like one of e few lessons i actually looked forward to, but with ms ong, its so by-the-bk...man i wish i could join ms yap's class with zheng yi n e rest, at least their lessons seem more interestin...they get german chocolates!! haha i sound damm shallow rite...choosin teachers over chocolates lolx...miraculously todae i didn't fall aslp durin maths lecture, quite an achievement seein how i've been slpin since mrs foong took over...n e fact tat i didn't slp, i realised tat i actually understand wat she's teachin...haha could jus be my lucky day tat she was teachin somethin easy...bio is gettin shitty confusin...dna, trna, mrna, transcription, translation, codons...haix...must revise man or sure die...den bio tutorial, kinda like one of e few tutorial classess i kinda enjoy n feel relaxed in...

after sch went to sintec shop to buy shuttlecorks for e class trainin, went with ziyang, slowpoke, robyn...den was seriously contemplatin gettin new grip for my new-but-alreadi-damm-dirty grip on my new raquet...but got no $$ so must save up! went down to cc after tat to play...not bad lah...can say i finally thoroughly enjoyed myself in a long time playin badminton...i kinda jus let go of stress n play e way i wan to...reali enjoyed myself...slowly discoverin my luv for e sport again...after trainin i went to eat dinner @ century square with teresa n oh li choo...den as usual we tok n laugh n tok n laugh...still rmb e last time i went to century with my badminton gurls, hahahah we tok n crapped sooo damm loud lah...e whole food court starin at us...luckily not so bad tis time...

after tat oh li choo took e bus home with me...dunno is she being nice to accompany me home or jus tat her father not free to fetch her yet lolx...we sat on my front porch n tokked bout a dozen and 1 things lah...we were tokin all e way from e bus till my house...alrite i guess...i find its quite easy to open up to her...*fingers crossed* things tat start up too gd neva end up well

*OUT*
aLiSoN

hehe

2005-07-26T07:16:00.000-07:00

1st n foremost: CONGRATS TO O5SO7 AKA TEAM HELIX FOR MAKIN IT INTO E NXT RD OF E BADMINTON OPEN!! JUNLONG E SUPER CAPTAIN, JASPER N ZIYANG E UNLIKELY BUT HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL BOYS DOUBLES, LEE LING N CHRISTINA, E 2 I'M MOST PROUD OF...E 2 WHO TRUELY DEFIED E ODDS, CHERR N KEN WITHOUT A DOUBT ONE OF E BEST BALANCED DOUBLES PAIRING!! ALSO GREAT JOB TO THE CHAMPIONS AKA MY TEAM!! LETS GET READY 4 NXT RD!!! VERA MY DEAR PARTNER, SERENE E NEW, ON-FORM SINGLES PLAYER, ELVIN OUR STAR, BOONLONG N KAI XIANG GD GAME GUYS! KYM, HENDRA, JONATHAN...SORREEE I DIDN'T CATCH UR MATCH BUT I'M SURE IT WAS GREAT!! LETS JIA YOU N GO AS FAR AS POSSIBLE!!

now tat tats done...hehehe...lets do a quick update...sat i went to train with 05s07, haha...remember on fri nite, me junlong ken frantically searchin for courts to train coz everywhere fully booked, i felt tat they reali needed to train coz lee ling n oh li choo haven't played a proper game together, can u believe it? they've prolly onli played together for 3 days n i tink they're rather amazing alreadi!! but i played badly, so i was kinda moody after e match, thanx for all e encouragement guys! we went for lunch @ food court, oh tis is e funny part, me n oh li choo went to get bubble tea, so as usual we were tokin crap n makin alotta noise, e straws for e bubble tea were kept in a container on e table of e shop, so i opened e cover n poked straws for us, den oh li choo started makin her way bk to e food court, so i followed her, not noeing tat i was still holdin on 2 e cover lah! i onli realised halfway! den i screamed "OH LI CHOO! I'M STILL HOLDIN ON 2 E COVER!"lolx...we laughed till we almost cried lar! lolx...

can't rmb wat i did on sun...shoot...bad memory...kekez...mon was e 1st match of badminton open 4 e non-seeded teams, n i was linesman so i had to stay bk also...went with cherr, teresa, charis, zhengyi to e bubble tea shop near uncle louis...coz one of e shops alotta of pple mah, so i, charis, zhengyi bought from e other shop while cherr n teresa bought from e long queue one...lolx...cherr is gonna kill me, but i tink its great injustice if i dun blog tis! so after i got my bubble tea, i went over to join her, den coz of e long queue, they all haf queue no. so i asked cherr, wat's ur no.? she replied "oh my no. is 81022329" everybody was stunned n i was tinkin "queue no. got soooo long one meh?"...den she said " i jus changed my no." den everybody burst into laughter coz our dear ronglin tot tat i was askin her bout her hp no. lolx...n its super funny how she was e onli one who didn't get wat i was askin...

todae...2nd round for e non-seeded teams, 1st round for seeded teams, e class got thru even though they lost to one 1 team, luckily they won e other!! thanx to elvin, boon long, kai xiang n serene, dere was no pressure on me or vera to win our match, so we kinda played easy, winning 11-love...i'm still kinda afraid my team will face an early exit in e nxt rd coz elvin almost lost todae n i haf a bad feelin we gonna meet either mich goh's team, ying liang's team or edwin's team, i tink onli 3-4 teams without tpjc badminton team players r left in e comp, all e rest of e teams contain sch team players if not wrong...so it'll be weird playin against my teammates or my class...

i must learn to control myself, i got quite xcited esp when i was doin linesman for my class team...i'm not suppose to cheer for dem! haix...control control control!!

kk...haven't done hw...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

anger managment

2005-07-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

i tink i need to attend anger management classes...lolx...tis wk has been a horrible wk...i tink i've lost my temper and my control sooooo many times i've lost count...n i hate it...i dun like to get angry at pple but tis wk i jus couldn't control myself...n so many things jus went wrong...

SORRY PPLE! SORRY TO ANYONE WHOM I'VE LOST MY TEMPER @...DIDN'T MEAN IT...NOT UR FAULT...JUS LOST CONTROL...FORGIVE ME?? LOLX...

pls Lord...make nxt wk a better wk for me...

m slightly excited for badminton open nxt wk...but my team is kinda divided...like we didn't reali train together much due to time constraint...jus me n serene practicin doubles...den elvin playin singles on his own...i didn't get much chance to play with e other guys or kym, so i dunno how we're gonna cope if we haf to rotate e team...plus serene kinda strained her back...*fingers crossed* hopefully everythin will be ok...coz i tink our team is quite strong...hope for e best!!

*OUT*
aLiSoN

rip

2005-07-21T06:41:00.000-07:00

oh man oh man oh man...my raquet...my raquet...somebody broke me raquet!! jus when i felt tat i was finally becomin better, e raquet tat i've trained with for over 3++ yrs broke! i shall not mention e culprit's name...read my tag board...guilty conscience lolx...i feel soooo bad now...damm depressed...i dun blame him lah...he didn't mean it...but i feel sooo lost without my raquet...todae was playin with my class peeps n i took veri long to adapt plus i dun like e feelin tat i dun haf a raquet of my own...tat i haf borrow pple's one...sian...haha...rmb b4 i left for maths remedial i told junlong, "i leave my raquet with u...take care of it k" den in e middle of remedial i get a call from my raquet breaker to tell me tat he broke my raquet, i ran out of class man...haix...it was bad...had no mood to concentrate after tat...

coach recommended me tis green pacific one...but i dun like green! can't imagine myself carrying a green raquet with my alreadi green uniform...sian...but i asked him to bring on mon let me see...i went down to e sintec shop in tampines central but dere wasn't any tat i reali liked...

ok i noe its not e end of e world...but i jus can't stop tinkin bout my raquet...lolx i sound like i haf no life outside badminton :P

quizzy

2005-07-14T06:38:00.000-07:00

haha...been takin lotsa quizzes these few days...tink i rmb seeing tis one on handsome's blog b4 but neva got ard to doin it till now, mich lee jus told me bout it so i tot i'd do it =P

Your dating personality profile:

Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active.
Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life.

Your date match profile:

Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things.
Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps his body in top shape.

Your Top Ten Traits

1. Athletic
2. Liberal
3. Adventurous
4. Stylish
5. Intellectual
6. Traditional
7. Religious
8. Wealthy/Ambitious
9. Big-Hearted
10. Sensual

Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Practical
2. Adventurous
3. Athletic
4. Conservative
5. Intellectual
6. Religious
7. Traditional
8. Wealthy/Ambitious
9. Shy
10. Funny

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

hmm...yup guess tis quiz is quite accurate lah...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

ouch

2005-07-13T06:44:00.000-07:00

ok lets give u a quick run down of my wk so far...

monday i had spe...n coz of sea sports carnival, mon's timetable was repeated on tues...which meant i had 4 periods of spe in a wk! played rugby, honestly lah...i dun mind watchin rugby on tv, but i absolutely haf no talent in playin it watsoever, n i dun enjoy playin it either man! den we had to do like 40crunches, 40pushups, which mean tat i had to do 80crunches, 80pushups for 2 days consecutively...den todae trainin, coach made us do 20pushups, 40 crunches, two sets of tat somemore! so altogether tis wk i haf done, 160crunches, 120pushups! n its onli wed lah...n was lookin in e mirror jus now...n noticed tat my ribs r stickin out like two lumps of god noes wat lah...it looks like flesh, but when u touch it, u realise its bone, it looks super ugly, n my mum was quite freaked when i showed her...she tot i dislocated it while trainin! ok realised i was digressin from topic...we ranaway halfway from e sea sports carnival n went to watch fantastic 4 with zhengyi n charis...quite gd lah...but not e kind of movie i'll rmb for a long time...after tat we went shoppin! mostly for class jersey, like checkin out prices n stuff...i super wan a class jersey! den we went to e esplanade, tis shop which sells movie stuff...wah...i was like a kid in a candy store man! i wanted to buy loads of lord of e rings stuff lah! like e glossy map poster which cost $80...die...must save money!

tues was e day my grandaunt was cremated, but i didn't go coz my mum didn't wan me to skip sch...so e whole day i couldn't stop tinkin bout how 2pm was fast approachin...2pm is e time she was to be cremated...i tink i did a pretty gd job of actin normal, though i was reali fallin apart inside...after sch i didn't wan to go home coz i noe nobody wld be bk home from e funeral yet...so i went to eat lunch with teresa n zhengyi, den we walked round tampines...oh got pasar malam! i super long neva go pasar malam le! a pity we ate lunch b4 tat or i'm sure i wld haf bought tons of food man!

todae had trainin again! finally lah...i miss trainin! kk...i still got lotsa stuff to say, but my eyes gettin itchy le...which means i've been on e comp too long n if i dun go off now, i'll haf sore eyes tomoro...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

colourgenics

2005-07-12T03:59:00.000-07:00

k...jus took tis quiz thingy which determines ur current mood n situation n wat kinda person u r n i tink its pretty accurate in all things it says...describes wat i'm kinda goin thru rite now...try it...doesn't hurt rite

http://www.colorgenics.com/sps/

tis is wat i got:

You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfillment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realize the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.

You like the better things in life. You are sensuous and emotional. You are a follower of the Arts and you seek an environment that will give you the fulfilment to the senses that you need.

Everything seems to have gone wrong and the situation at this time is such that you are not quite sure which way to turn. So it would appear that you are 'holding back', re-consolidating your position and relinquishing all fun and games for the time being.

Your willpower and stamina are in danger of being overwhelmed by excessive stress. Your resilience and tenacity have become weakened. You are feeling overtaxed, worn out and getting nowhere: but you continue to stand your ground. You feel that this unfavourable situation is an encumbrance which you could well do without and you find yourself unable to make the necessary decisions at this particular moment in time to change anything.

The tensions and stresses that you have experienced of late have been the result of trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond your capabilities. You feel completely inadequate to cope with the situation and you would like nothing better to escape from it all and to be able to relax in a problem and pressure free environment where you can do your thing.

*OUT*
aLiSoN

smarty pants

2005-07-10T07:29:00.000-07:00

What attracts people to you?
brought to you by Quizilla

i realise i dun do well with death...e coffin, e body in e coffin...it jus tears me up inside noeing tat one day everyone dies...tat one day i'll haf to see e pple i luv most dead...

broken

2005-07-09T00:23:00.000-07:00

b4 i start HAPPY BURFDAE MICHELLE LEE!! =P

was awoken at bout 7+ tis mornin by e sound of my aunt on e phone...my aunt is neva on e phone tis early...unless...someone passed away...i lost my grandaunt at 2am tis mornin...she joined e Lord in her slp...i rmb walkin out of my room towards e telephone, my aunt wasn't dere anymore coz she went to e toilet, e yellow pages were open, to e casket section...everythin seemed so unreal to me...like a dream/nitemare...i sat down on e sofa...

i realised i cldn't stay in e house anymore, not with my grandma cryin n my aunt on e phone tellin all my relatives tat my grandaunt's gone...so i left e house earlier den i planned coz i was suppose to play badminton with my class peeps aniwae...i didn't tell em anythin...but i was dere 2nd earliest...junlong was alreadi dere waitin for us, slpin on e chair lolx...badminton was gd...it helped me put aside all e things buggin me b4 todae n wat had happened...

e last wake i attended was my granduncle...on my way to his wake, i heard e song "From This Moment On" by Shania Twain...den for years after tat i neva heard e song again...todae on my way home...i was tinkin bout when my mum wld bring us to my grandaunt's wake when i heard e song...weird n freaky man...its like everytime a family member leaves us i hear tis song...

i yearn to get drunk now or somethin...i need somethin to numb all e painful things tat haf been comin ard recently...i noe my frens are here for me...i noe if i need dem they'll be dere...i reali need u rite now...i reali wanna tok to u rite now...u can't solve all my problems but ur certainly e key to one of em...but its not gonna happen, it jus isn't...i wan to give up...i pray to Him every nite to ask Him to grant me strength, strength to walk past u n not feel a thing...strength to stop reading into everything u say...strength to stop feelin so emotionally attached to u...

But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

i planned to msg shuling tis mornin to ask her if she wanna go get mich lee's bdae pressie in e afternoon, but now i reali dun feel like it...m i being selfish? haix...

deep tots

2005-07-08T07:58:00.000-07:00

u said somethin...i'm not sure if it was directed at anyone...or rather not sure if it was directed to me...but i tink u reali made alotta sense...relationships r hard to maintain u said...or somethin along those lines...its starts off like a spark, warm, makes u happy/ excited...den its seriously heart-warming coz both of u realise e effort e other party is puttin in to keep it goin...but like in all frenships...misunderstandings arise...n coz e relationship is so impt to u, these misunderstandings hurt more den usual...both of u haf ur pride, so its difficult to start up again...things stale...u see each other...but nothin tat reali matters happen, u hang out together in a group, but u notice no more connections btw e both of u...or rather there r connections, but no one has e guts to act on it...from den on, everythin falls apart...u see each other, but u jus pass each other by...

i jus wanna say i can't take it anymore...or shld i be numb by now?

*OUT*
aLiSoN

chi oral

2005-07-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

chi oral todae...ughhh...dun reali noe how i did...or rather dun reali wanna noe how i did lolx...our class skipped e dunno wat session with some impt person tat all e jc1s had to attend coz of e oral, but coz of e fact tat i hung ard with e gurls after my oral was over, i left sch bout e same time as e rest of e cohort...i hate takin bus with the rest of my cohort, e bus stop is packed, e bus is packed n damm noisy...i reali appreciate my quiet bus ride coz its onli den tat i can clear my head esp if its been a bad day...haix...

seen u ard again 2dae...not as often as e past, not as often as i wld like? it doesn't feel e same anymore...less pain i guess? dunno...glad if tat's e case, means i'm slowly wearin ya down...u were rite across me, i saw u walkin den stopped, rite across me, u looked up at me i tink...but i didn't haf e guts to look bk...tink our eyes met once or twice, not long enough...deja vu...rmb tat tis happened b4...it was an outing, we watchin a demonstration...didn't xpect u to be dere, but u were...rite across me again...directly across...u were partly hidden by e crowd den, haha but u can't hide from me! u dun believe in fate? ur words hurt n influenced me not to believe in fate also...but how can tis be explained? ur a nice person, i noe ur...

met e new gp teacher todae...lets jus say...1st impression, i miss mr ben alreadi...she sounds veri by e bk...i tink gp lessons r gonna be quite boring from now on...*fingers crossed*...i miss e 50 word reading logs n e fri discussions =P

*OUT*
aLiSoN

doomed

2005-07-05T02:03:00.000-07:00

haix...ok i did quite badly for common tests...lolx...of course i'm sad but nothin i can do bout it now...made a promise to miss lee my chem teacher tat i'm gonna study hard for promos! n i will most definately do so...i soooooo dooooooo noooooottttt wannnnnnaaaaa retain!!!! tink careless mistakes were a main part of my downfall...all my teachers said so...i noe my stuff but i'm jus not careful n dun pay enough attention, ask me bout it k...u'll get a long list tat i'll most willingly, animatedly tell ya so tat u won't make e same STUPID mistakes!

now its time to rush hw...hahahah mrs neo didn't collect n i dun tink she'll collect, but i'll do it nonetheless *halo on my head* lolx...oh my gp teacher's bk...saw her teachin tis other class...she looks ermmm strict? guess i'll find out tomoro gp period...

suddenly miss badminton trainin, miss e atmosphere, miss e gals though i see some of em quite often...miss the times we haf encouragin each other to improve...miss e crap tat liyi comes up with tat alwaes cracks me up...miss shuling's lameness n her trademark "cutthroat" tat she alwaes does when we play, miss serene e goat! lolx and her willingness to go anywhere anytime...miss handsome n her power smash, miss mich lee and her prayers b4 our meals, miss mich goh and her mushroom hair, miss meiyi n carlene, e inseparable best frens n e best team managers one could eva ask for...miss june our capt who has e perfect balance btw being serious n nutty...miss jingfang e gurl who i can reali tok to and whom i haven't trained with in ages, miss kym, e other tallie besides liyi, and her neva say die attitude...miss pretty beverly who i'm hopin isn't gonna quit...miss candice my dear combi mate, e one i alwaes moan to bout studies! miss weiling n her unique laughter...miss all of u n e times we had 1st 3mths n 2nd intake! tis whole wk no trainin...*sob*...

wish me luck for tomoro's oral...*does shuling's trademark cutthroat*

*OUT*
aLiSoN

hw hw hw

2005-07-04T07:26:00.000-07:00

tomoro is like e actual day sch reopens lah...like e day we start our lessons accordin to time table again...i'm screwed coz i haven't finished my gp n math hw...i like haf 3 gp reading logs n 2 journals to do...n i haven't done 1 full practice math common test given to us...rite now i'm hopin/ prayin mrs neo doesn't collect it tomoro! i promise tat if she doesn't collect it tomoro i'll definately finish it asap...as for gp...wonder if my teacher's bk from her pregnancy yet...i mean pple dun stay pregnanat tat long rite...

ok quick update on e wkend tat passed b4 e wk i dread begins...fri i went to play badminton with my class pple...it was e usual badminton gang minus a few pple...den on sat i stayed home coz i was totally broke...watched aviva on tv...den went to attend dinner with my god parents...yummy crabs! lolx...tink e crabs were one of e main reasons i went lolx...sunday i went out with my class pple to get kit's pressie...hahaha...we spent 3/4 of e time shoppin for ourselves...we went from ps to heeren to far east...jus window shoppin n moanin bout how we didn't haf enough cash to get e oh so beautiful top or funky bottom...haix...den todae i went to play badminton again with shuling, mich lee n shuling's fren...we met ziyang, junlong n their sec sch frens i tink...den we all kinda meshed together n played together lolx...later we saw mich goh, shah, edwin n yi xiang also playin in e other court...

wed is my A'Level Cl Oral!! die die die...though most of my frens who haf taken it say it wasn't difficult...given my standard of chi...hahaha who noes man...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

small world

2005-06-30T03:59:00.000-07:00

i luv jc life! wait b4 u tink i've gone mental i dun mean tat i luv e life of a jc student, i jus tink certain aspects of jc is pretty cool...ok mayb jus one aspect...jc makes me realise how small a world we singaporean students haf...its like in jc everybody noes everybody else or everybody noes ur fren whom u also noe whom u also happen to noe their fren...m i makin sense? lolx dun matter...diff schs from all over e island mesh in jc den u realise ur pri sch fren is e best fren of ur classmate now or ur current cca mate is pri sch mates with ur sec sch best fren etc etc...i jus tink its damm intriguing lah n it reali makes ur realise its all bout fate...tons of sec sch students in e singapore education system n u had to meet these pple who alreadi noe some of e pple u noe...

tinkin bout it...isn't tat e principle tat makes frenster work? through one fren u find another n another n another...6 degrees of separation they say...everybody is connected to somebody else in tis world by @ most 6 frens/aquaintance/family member etc...pretty interestin shit huh?

shit...i wished i didn't tink of e 6 degrees thing...coz tat reali made me tink of u...i rmb we were eatin n tokin bout old frens...den i told u bout e 6 degrees thing n u were so impressed n interested...crap...i feel like crap now...i'm damm failure lah...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

its over

2005-06-29T07:26:00.000-07:00

phew!! its over...common tests pass quite fast actually...thank god i take 3 subj onli! but yet i alreadi feel kinda sick for all e essays i had to write lolx...dun ask me how it was coz i reali dunno...i can't say it was fantastic yet i can't say it was horrendous lolx...so see how lor...

went to watch batman begins todae with my usual movie gang from our class...yes yes i noe i'm prolly like e latest among all u pple to watch it haix but jc students haf no life lolx...not bad lah...its definately got e best storyline among all e batman movies...n yes i've watched all e batman movies :P...but it felt a bit weird watchin batman ride around in a tank-like batmobile n i still can't figure out why when he's bruce wayne he can speak clearly but when he's batman he kinda hisses n all e saliva n stuff like traps his words so they're not clear at all!

i wanna go watch aviva open tomoro so kinda discussin with e gurls now...i wanna see taufik hidayat! lolx

*OUT*
aLiSoN

bedok view sec sch our pride our hope our aspiration

2005-06-22T08:24:00.000-07:00

went bk to bv todae for choir n band grad nite concert...while i kinda went bk to see all e pple, my juniors, all e frens tat i haven't seen in ages...a bit disappointin coz veri little pple came bk...but at least i got to catch up with joanne n yanlong again! lolx...yanlong rushed down from her lecture in tp n took a cab, onli for us to leave halfway when e show got boring to eat supper...saw all e teachers, n they all still remember me!! i noe i noe u must tink it's no big deal rite? but they forgot some pple leh...lolx...ok ok...it was veri nice to see mdm rao, mrs cheong etc all over again...but dunno y it felt awkward when i saw mrs lee...i tot i would say more to her but e words jus couldn't come out...mayb its coz i didn't noe if i shld speak to her bout e board on tis kinda occassion...saw xiao qing...must do somethin bout tis prob n help her or i'm a useless senior man...wonder i shld consult huixian n peisi on wat they plan to do...

walkin thru bv again...all e memories...all e familiar faces...den when i hung out with joanne n yanlong...everythin felt e same...it was as if we didn't leave or separate...lolx...

e concert wasn't tat gd...e choir is sooo freaking small now so i cld hardly hear wat they were singin...n i tink e audio thingys were bad so e band was reali soft too...haha...was expectin a great show judgin from last yr's concert...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

oops

2005-06-20T19:44:00.000-07:00

sorry i reali didn't mean to humiliate u like tat...i noe it took alot for u to ask me tat qn...to invite me so openly...but i didn't ignore u on purpose...was reali busy doin somethin n i didn't noe u were tokin to me...guess tat must b y u treated me so coldly later...can we try again? pls?

*OUT*
aLiSoN

bk again

2005-06-20T01:00:00.000-07:00

it's been a while since i saw u...i barely tot of u...e dreams all stopped too...den tis mornin...haix...when will i eva be rid of u in my head...when will u eva stop hafin such adverse effects on me!!!!!!!!!! can u hear e frustration in my voice lolx...if i hadn't heard ur voice yest...i prolly won't b dealin with this rite now...

But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

i lost my extra $50++++ hp battery...woke up tis mornin n practically turned e house upside down tryin to find it...thankfully mummy is understandin n i didn't get a tongue lashin from her...jus told me to be more careful nxt time...spent e nxt few hrs muggin bio n chem...*fingers crossed* i reali hope i make it for common tests...

goin out for dinner later to celebrate mummy's bdae n belated father's day...haha...found out tat mich lee's mum's bdae is like 2 days after mine...den her grandma's bdae is e same as mich goh's one...haha...so we came up with tis ridiculous theory tat we're all family some how...

Now I’m dying in this hell

*OUT*
aLiSoN

mug mug mug

2005-06-18T06:54:00.000-07:00

yest went for yoga! painful yet relaxin experience...i couldn't stretch lah...i'm so non flexible...haha...e guys could balance better den me...it was like every 5secs, i was fallin over... :P...den e yoga class had tis veri interestin soundtrack playin, it was recordins of animal sounds, so in e middle of u tryin to concentrate n focus, u wld hear baboons or parrots, n jing2 jus couldn't control herself when she heard e baboon lah...she jus burst out laughin n caused everyone in e class to laugh also includin e teacher! i would say i did feel more relaxed after yoga, coz it kinda teaches u to focus ur mind, but i'm not sure if i'll go again coz my whole body was achin when i reached home due to all e stretchin...if someone pulls me to go n e cost remains $10 den i might consider lolx...

went to mug todae with mich lee n shuling...met up n tampines popular alevel section lolx...we practically made e area ours coz we like sat dere for half an hour jus choosin e right tb or tys to buy...den we went to mug under mich's block for e rest of e day...on our way to e bustop,we came across tis buncha kids playin badminton, n it was onli like 3 days ago since we last trained lah, but we were itchin like nobody's business, so we decided to be thick-skinned n ask if we cld borrow for a while to play...hahahah...damm enjoyable coz it was like, no nets, no courts, lousy shuttlecork, but we reali had fun coz there was no pressure to perform, we were playin becoz we wanted to n we were enjoyin ourselves...but i learnt a lesson, PROPER FOOTWEAR IS IMPT!! hahaha...i was wearin slippers, n i fell on my ass lolx...den later on too many pple were slippin, we took off our slippers n played barefoot, now my feet are like peelin lolx...i tink onli shuling's feet r alrite coz her skin is SOOOO THICK lah!....she had e cheek to rub it in tat it was better 2 haf thick skin den thin skin...lame sia tat gurl!

*OUT*
aLiSoN

leavin on a jet plane

2005-06-16T08:01:00.000-07:00

its 11pm now n i reali shld be in bed considerin how i haf to wake up @ 6.15am tomoro coz of yoga in tajong pagar...haix...but i dun feel like slpin...so i'll jus blog...

planned to spend todae reali muggin till evenin where i wld go send yipin off...but i woke up late, den spent a little too much time on e comp, den i got bugged down by all e pw stuff...haix...ruined my day so when i finally got down to studyin it was like 1pm, n i studied till like bout 4.30pm n i onli completed like one chap of bio lah...after yoga tomoro i must must must study maths or i'm screwed for my tuition quiz...

sendin yipin off was a bit weird coz i'm not reali tat close yipin but still i feel i'll miss her...aiyo basically i'm not gd at gdbyes...so i kinda wanted to get it over n done with...haha...i tink i got a bit emo...but luckily not many pple noticed...yipin cut her hair! she looks younger? haha...anyway all e best to u gurl! gd luck with pediatry...i tink tat's e spellin...all i noe is its somethin to do with e lower leg...bet u dun haf any frens studyin tat man! nxt time if i haf any lower leg prob n i come see u u better give me discount! lolx...oh n her el name is sophia...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

dreams

2005-06-14T01:23:00.000-07:00

aiyo...all these dreams recently...its like i can't remember when was e last time i had a dreamless slp...last nite had a weird one but i can onli remember bits of it...somethin bout my mom comin home n buyin me 2 funky mechanical pencils, which is somethin i noe my mom will neva do coz she doesn't like dem lolx...den i dreamt of my fren's fren, as in to me she's jus a hi-bye kinda fren lah...she was askin me if i linked her blog to mine yet...n i said no coz i didn't noe she had a blog or somethin, but i'll do so...tat's all i remember...den when i woke up in e mornin, i switched on e comp, and reali was bout to link her blog to mine b4 i realised tat it was jus a dream...so i didn't in e end, den later, when i started muggin, i opened my pencil case n started searchin for e funky pencil tat i reali tot i had lah!...scarey shit man...i reali hope i will stop blurrin dreams with reality...

speakin of muggin...its reali time for me to push e panic button, coz i've still got tons i haven't covered!! haix...n whenever i haf trainin, i dun mug when i come home coz either i dun feel like it coz i've had too much fun, or coz i'm too tired...sometimes i wonder y i'm so committed to comin for every trainin, u noe i turned down an outin with e class peeps to go beach yest jus to go for trainin?! i miss goin to e beach soooo badly lah...n i actually told em i can't coz got trainin... :<

after trainin went to eat with e gurls,hahahahah they sat on e kiddy ride n it was hilarious man!! e thing got stuck when mich goh got on it so she had to get off n get on again lolx!!...den we were walkin liyi n mich lee bk home, den liyi decided it was funny to abandon us n she pulled mich lee away with her up e block of flats which was e one she lived in lah but of course we didn't noe tat...so mich goh, serene n i like went on wild goose chase lookin for em...den i urgently needed to use e toilet, yes i noe i always haf to use e toilet durin e wrong time :P...later we found out tat they hidin in her place, n we walked rite past her door lor...lolx...den stupid liyi refused to let me use her toilet!! so me n mich lee went to e gents at e petrol station haha...yes gents, but nothin new coz we went to e gents together too tat time after cheers comp lolx...den we went up to mich lee's place to see her cutie pie sis michole!! lolx she's onli 5yrs old n damm cute man...but she's abit of a tyrant...lolx kinda like me when i was young lah...4eva bullyin my older sis...hahahaahah...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

pooh bear

2005-06-11T07:05:00.000-07:00

Which 'Winnie The Pooh' character are you? Find out @ star-girl.org!

oh man i'm motherly?!

jus got a call from xiao qing...haix...e prefectorial board is in disarray...tinkin bout whether or not i shld do somethin bout it or jus mind my own business...den again i tink when e exco stepped down, we knew tat somethin like tis might occur...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

last days

2005-06-10T04:22:00.000-07:00

went to sch tis mornin not in e best of moods...mainly coz i knew i was headin for a 5hr crash course on cell structure with mrs gay for company lolx...den will haf to head for 1 hr makeup with ms leo...but not as bad as expected...was pleasantly suprised when yipin gave us all tis personalised hp thingy to duh hang on our hps...lolx...it was like our name n and our fav object, n she did it 4 everyone in our class...so sweet of chopstick...haha...no wonder she was askin me wat my fav object was 2 nites ago...seriously lah i'll miss yipin...i can't imagine how it'll be like when i walk into class n not see e tall thin gurl who i used to call chopstick...or how i'll get thru e day without hearin any of her lame jokes or facts...lolx...

went to watch mr n mrs smith with charis, jasper, teresa, zheng yi n zi yang after tat...ok lah..considerin tat i onli paid $6 to watch it @ princess...if it was like $8.50, i wld tink like not worth it lah coz e story is a bit unbelievable...haha we were like basically gushin bout how handsome brad n how beautiful angelina was thru out e whole movie, tink e guys got a bit sick of us, they prolly neva went movies with such a noisy buncha gurls b4...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

behind these hazel eyes

2005-06-09T01:05:00.000-07:00

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

didn't wan to paste e whole song coz i felt jus these paragraphs were enough to vivdly describe wat i'm reali goin thru rite now...

*OUT*
aLiSoN

:<

2005-06-08T08:29:00.000-07:00

i'm feelin reali demoralised...dunno y but i dun tink i'll eva b as gd in badminton as i wan to be...my progress is slow...everytime i tink i've improved, i play against someone n i perform badly!...i reali luv e sport but sometimes i wonder if its coz i reali lack e talent in it...in e prefectorial board last time, i could handle any difficult situation thrown at me...n i believed i've handle a fair few, but in tis team, whether sport wise or relationship wise, they're all presentin new challenges...haha...i haf such a stiff arm lah...dun haf e spring tat is required in badminton players...sometimes i tink i go for badminton jus to hang with e gurls...

i dunno...if i quit e team wat will i join? its too late for me to join anythin...n i dun tink i'll be able to take e fact tat i'm no longer gonna be part of e team easily lyin down...i'll prolly feel damm sad whenever i see e gurls noein i was once part of em...

i'm fightin now...i'm fightin not to give up becoz of u...i dun wanna let myself be pushed down by tis...but when everythin ard me, whenever i go for e one thing tat makes me happy n relaxed, seems to revolve ard u...it's reali killin me slowly...n i can't tell anyone...can't share wat how i feel with anyone who can reali help me...n as long as i dun resolve our issue i tink it'll effect my relationship with e others...help me!

*OUT*
aLiSoN

3 days

2005-06-07T02:27:00.000-07:00

went down to watch e cheers comp with meiyi, carlene n mich lee coz shuling, mich goh n june all takin part, yi xiang joined us later...wah eye opener man...these pple playin were of some standard man...no wonder handsome say go dere get thrashed...found a new idol dere...tis gurl from tj who was playin singles...actually i noticed her durin our match against tj...tink she was playin 1st or 2nd singles...wow she's gd...found out from hammie tat her name is charrissa or somethin den she used to be from dhs too! like hammie! her jump smash is like so perfect lah...aiyo!! goosebumps jus watchin her...after tat we went to eat zhi cha...i tink tat's e spellin...woah super nice...tons of funny things happen n as usual n we were like e onli table makin noise, while everyone else jus stared n ate their food...ahahah...remember tat we were tokin to e lady bout wat vegetables we shld order...den she suggested gai lan but e prob was none of us knew wat gai lan was so we were kinda discussin...den mich lee suddenly said "maybe we order bee hoon?" den stunned silence as everyone struggled to understand how bee hoon was connected to gai lan or vegetables! den major laughter lah!!...so e rest of our dinner was pple makin examples of wrong things like...i like noodles especially fried rice! aiyo...madness man...

sunday we celebrated my dear grandma's bdae! was suppose to do so sometime ago but she was warded due to asthma but we finally did it! went to tis balinese restaurant in telok ayer...hmm food not bad...but most imptly e whole family got together again!...haven't seen my cousins since chi new yr? haha...den it was e 1st time my sis bf joined e whole family for dinner, hahah...so he was nervous n kinda stuttered n as usual i compounded his misery by laughin at him!! yes i'm evil!!

hope floats...dun fear me...i'm here...dun ignore me either... *fingers crossed* i saw u todae...but u walked away too fast...

i dun haf faith in myself...nor trust in anyone else...tat means i'm quite screwed rite?

*OUT*
aLiSoN

test

2005-06-04T21:00:00.000-07:00

everythin is a test they say...den i must haf done a great wrong in my previous life to deserve tis one...i'm reali being driven up e wall...i'm pissed no doubt...more pissed at myself den at u...n everytime u make me smile or laugh, i forget tat i'm pissed...i hate it when i'm weak, but i am when it comes to tis issue...slp is isn't helpin either...especially not when ur in it...i wake up feelin like i've been run over by a truck, n i dun wanna get up becoz i noe its another day where i haf to see u n den get reminded of everythin we're not anymore...

smsin with frens last nite coz i couldn't slp n didn't want to 4 obvious reasons...ok part of y i couldn't slp was finding out tat u found a substitute for me...ok tat's a bad word to use...another fren who's taken my place...yea yea e green eyed monster has taken over...n i kinda feel like cryin? i dunno y...lolx...timo replied me using tis line when i told him bout e issue : "if e person could let go of e frenship so easily, den mayb she's not tat gd a fren" i didn't delete tat msg, i kept it for e nxt time i feel weak, i noe i can read it n feel slightly better, pathetic i noe...den i went online n u were dere, i barely spoke 2 words to u...or rather u didn't seem interested in speakin with me...tis is all veri new to me becoz no one has eva treated me tis way...tat's y i tink its retribution for everyone i've treated tat way...haha...e part tat hurt e most was when we were in convo with other frens n u sorta made a pt tat made me sound so extra...swear u would neva do tat in e past...but u did it now...in e present...tat's y i left e convo without sayin bye to anyone...

i won't quit e activity i luv for u...i luved e activity b4 u even exsisted in my life...though ur reali pushin me to my limits n tat i reali believe i would happier if i didn't see u at all...givin up e sport is not wat i'm gonna do...i noe ur not gonna stop makin me feel like extra...i noe u'll continue to invite everyone else to stuff xcept me...but i'm not goin to let u take tat away from me...

*OUT*
aLiSoN